Let me start out by saying, I absolutely do not want to offend anyone, so please please please…take my question and comments as pure ignorance.
That being said…
I am at somewhat of a crossroads when it comes to the Eucharist. I find myself possibly being able to believe what the Catholic church teaches on the subject, yet not knowing what to do with that belief once I finally grasp it.
Let me clarify. Every week, I watch my husband go up and receive the Eucharist, and I find nothing wrong with that, I am happy for him. (Of course, the whole time, I am trying to ask all those little pieces of “bread” in the brief second between when the priest shows it and the person consumes it…“is that you Christ” “is that you Christ”…but that is a different post entirely)
Back on topic… my problem is this… Once I finally admit that the Eucharist is in fact the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ, the thought of actually consuming Christ, just somehow seems…not right. Almost a type of violation. I realize He tells us to eat His flesh, but it seems so…destructive/borderline sacrilegious/detrimental. I realize it isn’t. But I don’t know that I could do it. Chewing and swallowing our Lord? (again, I don’t mean to offend anyone…I understand why you do it, I just don’t have the same mindset yet…which I am hoping you can help me with)
As a child, ( Baptist), during the Lord’s supper, (where the bread only symbolized the body of Christ) I always had trouble chewing the bread, as if somehow it disrespected God. I don’t know why, I just didn’t want to break apart something that represented my Lord. Therefore, doing so to something that actually is my Lord…wow, I think I would have a problem with that.
I could go on and on with my view of chewing and swallowing the Eucharist, but I think you get my point. So my question is, any pointers on how I should view, or suggestions on a way to change my views of receiving the Eucharist. If I do eventually convert, and receive the Eucharist, I don’t want to feel like I am doing something wrong…or even being repulsed by my own actions. So any thoughts would be appreciated.
I hope this made sense…I realize I have a totally different mindset than most of you, but maybe you could suggest something to change that?