Proper or not?
My cousin’s husband went to his childhood friend’s father’s funeral. He was very, very close to this family. He went alone as they could not afford for the whole family to go.
At the funeral, he ran into his ex girlfriend. They chatted and sat together. She has a car (he flew in and took the train to the funeral) and he rode with her to and from the burial…just the two of them. They then sat together at the repass dinner back at the church. He got back on the train and flew back home that evening.
My cousin knows all of this because she asked how he got to the burial and he said: “Oh, a lady I knew long ago was there and gave me a ride”. He said the name and it was a shock to my cousin because this was the one and only other person her husband has been intimate with (long before their marriage). My cousin was LIVID and still is. The woman is now married with kids, but she and my cousin’s husband exchanged email and phone numbers and he emailed her some contacts of folks they both knew from the past she had lost touch with.
He (cousin’s husband) has no idea why his wife is upset. He said he ran into her, road with her and that was that. No big deal. My cousin feels it was inappropriate for him to ride alone with her, sit with her and exchange any contact information with her. She is embarrassed to go back to his home town, as she is picturing everyone seeing her husband with ‘jane’ and whispering about the ‘meet up’ at the funeral. Ugh.
Her husband has never been unfaithful and I believe is a ‘stand up’ guy. He is totally blindsided by her reaction. He does not get it…at all. He said he will have no further contact with her if that will make her feel better. Her view is that she would have never, ever been alone with a man she once dated, let alone had been intimate with, under any circumstances…disrespectful to the marriage. She also would not have exchanged email if it were her.
I get my cousin’s point, but also think her husband really did not do anything with a bad intent. I also think an old flame to a guy can carry a lot less significance to that of a woman. I get the feeling my cousin’s husband just thinks of the lady as someone he once knew. Period. Not some long lost first love, as a woman might view it. Sigh.