Another OCD question

I searched some OCD threads and couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I started my own topic. What do you do if you have OCD, and the thoughts that bother you are lustful? Are they a sin?

I have OCD my friend, quite badly. It effects my entire life.

The lustful thoughts, I think, are only bad if they lead you into sin, or perhaps sexual arousal.

I’m sure others will help better though :o

Again I could be missing your point. You said lustful thoughts which “bother you?” Anotherwords it’s not just feeling guilty about lustful sins, but *certain * lustful sins that are oCDish?

Could you please (if you do not mind) explain?

Pretty much any lustful thought bothers me. Some are also very unnatural. And when the thoughts won’t go away, so after a while it can be a problem.

I used to have this problem too. No, this is not your fault and you are not responsible. The only way that I can imagine you being responsible is if you are saying to yourself, “I am going to make bad movies in my head even though Jesus does not want me to and even though I know it offends him.” I HIGHLY suggest you find a good priest, one who is faithful to the teachings of the churhc, to be your spiritual director/confessor. Then be obedient to everything he tells you, even if you don’t like it. That’s the only way I was able to deal with these things. Furthermore, you might want to talk to a doctor about getting on some meds for OCD just for the meantime. I did this as well, and it helped. I am off the meds now. Because I am a teacher, I don’t have time to have OCD anymore. LOL

Medication and therapy goes a long way in helping with this. I also have OCD. My therapist has said that OCD is hard to treat. But I have a “take as needed” anxiety med that I can take up to three times a day. Some days I need it more than others.

No meds ever worked for me. Strangely, being around people of the faith, and doing activities of the faith seems to be the only good medicine. But that’s me and others are different.

Your answer is within your question - the words in bold show you that you are not taking pleasure in these bad thoughts - they BOTHER you. They are not sinful unless you “entertain” them. And you can think of that in a literal example. Picture the thoughts as solicitors knocking on your door. As long as you keep asking them to leave and closing the door, you have not sinned. If you invite one in for coffee and conversation, you’re in trouble.

Or, in more formal terms, anything involuntary is not a sin.

Betsy

Is there a particular time or place where the problem generally arises? Do you pray and call to God for help when you are troubled? Do you ask for help from Mary and the saints? Do you have a regular prayer shedule and devotions? Is there something in your past that might have caused some spiritual distrubance that could be related? Do you go to confession?

I have OCD and lustful thoughts. I too would like to know when it becomes sinful. For example, I innocently started thinking about how I was going to try and say no to going out to a club with my girlfriends because it always leads me to sin when dancing with men. Then my thoughts progressed into thinking about my past sins while dancing with good looking men. I try to keep pushing these thoughts away but I will think about it for some seconds or a minute maybe and then push it away again. This keeps going on and I am aroused. I want to know when this becomes mortal sin. It seems that it could be venial but I never know whether I need to refrain from receiving the Eucharist or not. How long can you have lustful thoughts before they are mortal sins?

BTW I do try to pray during these thoughts but it is very difficult to want to stop thinking about them. I do go to confession when I have dwelt upon these kind of thoughts and then acted on it.

I think you are asking when does temptation become sin. This is a tough one. You probably know when you give in to it and stop fighting it. The Bible only give one instruction on how to deal with lust. Flee from it. You can not play with tihs fire and not get burned. All sin is the same. A drunk wants to drink a little, but not have his life ruined. He does not want to live without alcohol, but does not want it to destroy him. It feels good to have sexual feelings and passions, but you don’t want to go over some imaginary line. This will never work. You have to reject the impulse immediately or you are lost.

I hope you find a husband and find legitimate holy sexual fulfillment and motherhood. Don’t give up. God will help you.

You made it very clear about how you are led into lustful thoughts, but what does OCD have to do with this?

Do you pray to Mary then? Have you prayed to St. Maria Goretti for help? Saint Maximillian and Saint Joseph also are helpful with this.

grandfather,
I have been married since I was 18, for many years. I have two boys. I go to a psychologist for my ocd and have been put on the meds for this but they make me really sick so they take me off of them. So I have not had relief from the ocd. I constantly worry about things and people, (obsessing). Then I ask people what I should do or what they think, (compulsion) because I can’t decide what to do myself. I analyze situations to death and drive my friends crazy.

Maybe I am confused. You spoke about trying to figure out how to tell your girlfriends you would not go dancing with them at clubs. Were you talking about things that happened way in the past when you were single or do you mean that now as a married woman?

I was reading in Saint Faustina’s diary last night that Jesus told her that worry was the biggest impediment to growth in the spiritual life. It is impossible to have worry and trust in God in a soul at the same time.

Saint John Vianney wrote that the same God who commands you to pray, forbids you to worry.

I say a short prayer when fear or anxiety comes near. “Jesus, I trust in you”.

I am sorry that you suffer from all these things. God loves you.

I was talking about now. My girlfriends don’t think there is anything wrong with dancing and having fun but they don’t have the same temptations that I have. OCD is always caused by anxiety and worry. It is also known as the doubting disease when it has to do with religious scrupulosity. There are many obsessions and compulsions a person can suffer from besides the common ones that you always hear about. Thank you for your advice and kindness. I always ask Saint Faustina to pray for me when I go to confession cuz in her diary she was often upset with her confessors. I pray right before confession to our Blessed Virgin Mother to give me the right words to say and the right sins to confess. I’ve also started to bring my rosary into the confessional with me. All these things help me a lot. I pray to Jesus often in our Adoration chapel too. I guess He will heal me in His time not mine. My husband is not Christian so I can’t talk to him about my faith. He doesn’t want to hear about it. God bless you too.

You are a holy soul. You are not like your girlfriends. You may think that they are stronger than you are for not being bothered by temptations. Can you imagine Faustina going to clubs and dancing? How about Mother Teresa, or Saint Therese. Holy women do not flirt with temptation, or men. All you have to tell your girlfriends is that you are not interested in dancing anymore. Whether they realize it or not they are leading you into temptation. Just say no.

Scruples may be the last trick of the devil to destroy holy souls. He whispers that God is not pleased with them, because …fill in the blank. Holy souls are afraid of offending God. But Jesus says be anxious over nothing, be not afraid, let not your heart be troubled.

Paul says perfect love casts out all fear. Fear caused by something imaginary or something real is still fear. Fear and love can not exist in the same space.

In order to follow God on your spiritual journey you have to trust Him. If you are afraid of offending Him then the progess in following Him halts. You remain stuck in fear, paralyzed.

Jesus can not give you the blessings He has for you when you resist Him. Fear is resistance. The opposite of resistance is surrender. Will you surrender to Jesus and not resist and fear Him?

Your eyes are on you. Look at Him. Let Him look at you and if there is something wrong with you let Him fix it. It is His job, not yours. You can’t fix your soul. You don’t know how. Either He will fix it or it will remain broken. The thing that fixes you is God’s love.

Imagine for a moment that all of the things you worry about are true. Then imagine that for every thing you worry about it is really a thousand times worse. God still loves you.

You are still God’s beloved creature. God loves people for their real faults. That does not change if the faults are imaginary.

The problem becomes that until we turn to God for mercy and trust in His mercy and love, whether our faults are real or imaginary, we impede the work of His grace in our souls.

Even if you manage to surrender all your fear to God the battle is not yet won. How do you think I know this?

We have to surrender constantly, every day. It is not something we do once, but always. I recognize my helplessness. I trust that my sins are forgiven, but that is about the past. I have to live now, today. I am helpless to get through the day without falling again. I need God’s forgiveness for yesterday’s sins, but without His grace and protection I will surely make wrechage out of today.

When we pray for daily bread we should also pray for daily grace. God unless you help me with your rod and staff, your protection, your love, I will turn on you and betray you like Judas. Instead Jesus, allow me today to call to you like the Good Thief. Remember me Jesus. Keep me in your mind, when you come into your Kingdom. Don’t forget about me Jesus. Please. I am a thief and a criminal and deserve this punishment, but I died right next to you, put to death by the same hands that nailed you. Remember me my Lord.

Your mother sees me dying with you. She prays for my sinful soul.

Did I hear what you just said? I am going to be with you in paradise? My sins are forgiven? Can it be true? Hurry then. Let us die together quickly and forever.

“It is finshed.”

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