If all that I’ve said feels beyond you at this time, and I know it may, then I recommend you do what I do when I feel that way. That is pray for the grace to commit to self-sacrifice. When I pray that, I often find my desires suddenly opening my will so that I’m all right with sacrificing my breakfast or my lunch that day or the next day, or so that I’ll accept this wheezing at night rather than picking up my inhaler. It often takes prayer to open oneself to self-sacrifice because we’re simply not so good and strong on our own that we’ll do it. So we need to pray for strength, courage, freedom, and a genuine spirit of self-sacrifice. It’s easy to make the prayer. If we place ourselves in our Immaculate Mary’s hands, she will lift us up. Praying this is easy, and it smooths the way before us so that the self-sacrifice that follows is easier. And then glorious results follow quickly after, or during, the self-abandonment.
Also, it is valuable to have an intention when making an act of self-abandonment. When I can’t think of one, but I want to sacrifice for God, I just offer the sacrifice to my Mother Mary and tell her to make the decision for me.
This is not exceptional holiness but is the perfectly achievable ordinary way of coming closer to God. In fact, the Church requires us to make some form of self-abandonment each Friday in union with the Lord’s Passion. That’s a great day to “start small,” if you need to start small, though I personally think you should really aim for something big in order to kick this evil that’s been attacking your soul for so long. I want you to kick it hard.
In fact, if you’re willing to pursue this with me, I’ll fast with you and for you, starting next week, and we’ll bind and smash Satan’s grip together through the power of Christ. Our Holy Lady will do the real work for us, for we are consecrated to her and we are brothers, her children and God’s. Going without food and praying are human things we can do, but what she can do is take our prayers and works, clothe them in her virtues and merits, and through these obliterate the enemy strongholds in our lives.
Don’t you think it’s time, my friend, for us to really kick this thing you’ve been struggling with for so long, and to kill it once and for all through the power of Christ?
And if you won’t do fast with me so soon as next week, by all means, just pray for the spirit of self-sacrifice and get back to me as soon as you are ready. I’d be glad for your PM. Going without the food is unpleasant, but the results are joyful and I firmly believe that this will create vital, beautiful and sweeping changes in your soul, bringing back joy and peace in God in your life. OR if you prefer the retreat or charity or some other option I haven’t thought of, that can work too, and I’d be willing to fast for you or work in a charity also, during the same period you’re doing this, for your intentions.
This really needs to be done; things cannot be allowed to remain the way you’ve described them and looking for a way that takes little work, or little self-abandonment, is not the answer right now. Now is the time to seriously, seriously crush the devil, and to do that, we need to give the flesh up to God rather than keeping it for ourselves.
God bless you greatly and abundantly!
For your needs:
Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee! Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Amen.
St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, holy prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into Hell Satan and all evil spirits that roam about the world seeking the ruin of souls, Amen.
In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Please, most holy Mary, save us.