Another one of my opinion questions: kissing


#1

So there is this girl that I genuinely like and really the only thing that has me waiting to "ask her out" as my girlfriend is that I am in college and she's finishing up her senior year. (We are only a year and a half apart, nothing too outrageous.) She is a real sweetheart and we get along great. Is it acceptable and hopefully not sinful if we share quick kisses? I have learned that making out is a mortal sin, and one that I really want to avoid, but is it still worthy of going to confession if we share a quick peck? Both her and I have genuine feelings like I said before, but aren't "officially" together yet. And I refuse to give into thoughts that may pop into my head. I have no desire to lust after her; like I said, she is a really special person.:blush:


#2

It sounds like you are already sharing quick kisses, which leads me to ask If she is not your girlfriend (and in my opinion dating is to find a mate for life) then why are you kissing at all yet?


#3

Do you think your future spouse, if it was someone else would approve of these kisses now?

Would she like to witness them?

I think likely not.

And your current potential future spouse, if she actually thought about how casual an approach this is towards loyalty towards the sacrament of marriage, she might well change her mind too.

So, just don’t do it. Near occasion of sin at best. Stirring up those romantic feelings and potential sensual desires is not good.

Those feelings are only permissible in marriage in the context of the marital act.

A quick peck on the lips is a no no with a potential spouse. On the cheek? If you feel the same when you do it when kissing your aunt, directly there might be no problem, however, in the case of a girl who could potentially be your spouse I would avoid it too. There’s no good in going near boundary lines or walking on them, one has to keep a decent distance and not do some things that directly might be OK, but for various other reasons are simply conducive to being not OK, or are not OK.

Don’t treat this stuff casually or ‘everybody does it’ like. Everybody generally gets burned with mortal sins involving these matters. That’s truly Hellish. And the alternative is the beauty of chaste appreciation of a potential spouse, which leads no regrets afterwards, no matter what the result.

Taste the fruit… taste the poison. Flirting with fire gets you burned.


#4

[quote="Catholic555, post:1, topic:177160"]
I have learned that making out is a mortal sin, .:blush:

[/quote]

???

[quote="Shin, post:3, topic:177160"]
A quick peck on the lips is a no no with a potential spouse.

[/quote]

??

Puritan much?

So no dating or engaged couple can kiss? Where in Catholic teaching is THIS?

Kissing is not having sex.


#5

[quote="Catholic555, post:1, topic:177160"]
So there is this girl that I genuinely like and really the only thing that has me waiting to "ask her out" as my girlfriend is that I am in college and she's finishing up her senior year. (We are only a year and a half apart, nothing too outrageous.) She is a real sweetheart and we get along great. Is it acceptable and hopefully not sinful if we share quick kisses? I have learned that making out is a mortal sin, and one that I really want to avoid, but is it still worthy of going to confession if we share a quick peck? Both her and I have genuine feelings like I said before, but aren't "officially" together yet. And I refuse to give into thoughts that may pop into my head. I have no desire to lust after her; like I said, she is a really special person.:blush:

[/quote]

If you honestly feel guilty about it, go to confession. In my opinion neither kissing nor "making out" is a mortal sin. Make sure that you are both emotionally ready for a relationship, and enjoy yourselves - all the angst that you will get from various sources telling you "do this" or "do that" are just going to make you question everything you do.

The key here is emotional stability and being genuine. God will look after you if your intentions and motives are pure.


#6

[quote="Catholic555, post:1, topic:177160"]
So there is this girl that I genuinely like and really the only thing that has me waiting to "ask her out" as my girlfriend is that I am in college and she's finishing up her senior year. (We are only a year and a half apart, nothing too outrageous.) She is a real sweetheart and we get along great. Is it acceptable and hopefully not sinful if we share quick kisses? I have learned that making out is a mortal sin, and one that I really want to avoid, but is it still worthy of going to confession if we share a quick peck? Both her and I have genuine feelings like I said before, but aren't "officially" together yet. And I refuse to give into thoughts that may pop into my head. I have no desire to lust after her; like I said, she is a really special person.:blush:

[/quote]

(you'd get people telling you all kinds of things so maybe it would be best to ask a priest.)

I don't think that a quick kiss is a sin (if your intentions are pure). But I think it's best to avoid "making out" if you're not married cause that can lead to more, and it can be a temptation.

But I think that this is only good in a relationship if there's already commitment between the two people... it's a sign of commitment that goes deeper than just liking or attraction.

God bless


#7

Lust is a mortal sin.

Any act that stirs up lust is a mortal sin.

Kissing, therefor, except for chaste pecks as you would give your aunt, is reserved for the married.

Making out is a mortal sin.

Do you like tasting the edge of a glass of poison that is absolutely deadly for your soul? No. Then don't flirt with the edges, you will fall.

And that is Catholic teaching. It's in scripture, and it goes on from there. All the things that stir up those senses, the sensual, those emotions.. you keep it out. That's for -after- you are married. That today the majority rejoice in it before, outside of, and with many other people even during marriage.. is a mortal sin.

And not the pure and beautiful life God has destined for us. :)


#8

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