[quote="Jaypeeto4, post:1, topic:279972"]
"Whatever is not of Faith, is Sin..." ----- Saint Paul, scripture
Dear brothers and sisters, a blessed Easter to all of you.
Some of you know my propensity toward scrupulosity, well it's here again,
and the Evil One knows it too, and used the Easter Vigil (which was beautiful tonight) AND the quote from Paul above, and is hammering me with it right now.
Here's what happened.
I took RCIA in 1998/99 and was received into the Church, along with others also baptized in other churches IN THE NAME OF THE TRINITY, as adults at the 1999 easter vigil.
Our priest prayed the confrimation prayers, and anointed us with the Chrism for confirmation. So all these twelve years I've considered myself a confirmed Catholic (albeit until recently a pretty lousy one).
Well, tonight, I'm there at the vigil, (I hadn't been to the easter Vigil mass in about 5 years), and there are new adult converts. Those adults who were being baptized were allowed to receive communion. Those being received from other churches were reminded that THEY would receive THEIR first communion a few weeks later when they go to the Cathedral to be confirmed by the Archbishop.
My head started spinning. What is THIS??? I thought. 4 of the adults I was confirmed with were received having been baptized in other churches, and were never,ever told that we had to later go to the Bishop to be confirmed in order to receive first communion.
I thought, what is going on here???? DoesTHIS mean that I was not validly confirmed, and the past 12 years have been a great big show??
I had a sudden rush of mixed emotions, like, should I receive communion tonight,
if I am not confirmed, to my surprise, after all??? But then I thought, no, that's not a sin,
because kids who are baptized as babies receive communion from the age of 7 and up and are NOT confirmed, so receiving communion without being confirmed is not a sin.
Or is it? Maybe? NO, it CAN'T be, I've been receiving for ages. I was reallly confused with a jumble of thoughts, and COULDN'T "raise my hand" in the Mass and ask a question. But I was really wondering whether I was validly confirmed now, after 12 years, and should I receive communion?? I would never desecrate the body of Christ, but I reasoned that since unconfirmed, baptized-only 7 year olds receive the Eucharist regularly, and they aren't sinning, I would receive at this Vigil, BUT, I was then going to find out THIS NIGHT if my 1999 confirmation was valid, or did my priest back then do something wrong and FAIL to have us properly confirmed by the bishop??? ((none of us was EVER told to go see the bishop for Confirmation, and the priest knew we had been baptized in other churches, and gave us communion that very night, and always thereafter,but what if he had been wrong???)) I was truly confused and more than a bit angry, too.
But I said, darn it, I believe I was confirmed, I have operated on that principle for 12 years, and I'll receive tonight therefore, and if it does turn out I'm not confirmed, then I'll confess and arrange to be validly confirmed and won't receive a eucharist again, if I'm told not to, until I AM confirmed by the bishop.
SO I received. I'm wondering if it was a sin to do this,
as my mind had suddenly become a jumble of doubts.
Immediately after the blessing, I went to the RCIA director, and told her my situation.
She laughed and assured me that I had, indeed , been validly confirmed in 1999 by my priest, because he had, all our priests had, a dispensation to administer Confirmation to all adult converts, bapitzed as well as unbaptized. I breathed a sigh of relief, thanked her, and THANKED GOD, and left happy. But then the quote from Paul started popping into my head (I'm sorry but this isn't my own mere human scrupulosity. This is the devil quoting scripture against me, like he did to our LORD to try and get him to jump off the top of the Temple)). And it's working. I'm now worried that because I had a measure of doubt about being validly confirmed, and still received communion ((even though it TURNED OUT I had nothing at all to be concerned about)), whether I committed a grave sin because I was beset with a jumble of perplexing and confusing doubts??
Could any priests on the forums, or brothers, or Sisters, (religious), or good theologians who may read this, or others with knowledge,
please let me know?? This confusion at the Vigil threw a real monkeywrench, spiritually, into an otherwise wonderful Easter Vigil service.
I would never intentionally sin against the body of Christ, but with doubts, I feel that I took that chance, and now I'm scared, and "Old Scratch", as C.S. LEWIS calls our infernal enemy, knows that I am scared to death of committing a sacrilegious communion, even in conscience. I don't know what to do or think right now. :confused:
God love all of you, and happy Easter.
Do yourself a very big favor: Instead of seeking an answer from anonymous people-some of whom may or may not be even Catholic(regardless of what they say) or who may not be properly chatechised- on the internet, why not seek out a Jesuit, Dominican, or Franciscan Parish in your area and make an appointment to see a priest. These orders of priests are far more qualified to answer your questions that anyone here or your average RCIA director. As an example, most Jesuit and Dominican Priests have Doctorets in Catholic Theology-they just don't advertise it or wear it on their sleeves. And, you will be able to get your answer under the seal of the confessional if you want.