Another thread about abortion


I have been reading a lot of the threads about abortion and here is my question.

7 years ago, I was unemployed with a lot of time on my hands. I hung out with people out of boredom (I always knew they weren't the healthiest bunch) but I was going through a hard time and had no support and was not thinking clearly.

One girl got pregnant and told me she was going to abort the baby. To be honest, I think she wasn't planning on telling me a thing but when I asked if she was pregnant she probably felt there was no need to hide the truth.

She knew I was a practicing Catholid. Her exact words were 'If you no longer wish to be my friend then I guess we will not be friends anymore. At the time, I was paranoid of not having any friends so I said something to the effect 'What kind of Catholic dumps friends' thinking in my naive mind I had to show how loving real Catholics are. I tried to make myself into a great person I was not. I was using the saying 'Love the sinner hate the sin' excuse to justify my behaviour. I was scared of loosing a someone to spend all the time I had on my hands with. Deep down, I hate the way this woman mistreated me.

Looking back, I can see how selfish my behaviour was. Pretending to be a friend with someone I had no respect for just to have a buddy to spend time with. Not speaking up for abortion to make myself look good.

I discussed this with a priest (I can't remember if I specifically ask for absolution).

Lately (or more like for the past couple of years) I have been feeling guilty for not trying to stop the abortion. So my question is 'How guilty am I of sin?' and where does my responsibility start and end.

and after this woman had the abortion, her behaviour become very untolerable (I think it was because of the suffering she endured for killing her child) I ended up telling her I could no longer be her friend. (never gave her a reason)

Also, right or wrong, I have made my mind up that if ever someone else tells me they are thinking of aborting, I will tell them point blank that I knew a woman who suffered emotionally so badly after her abortion, it was NOT worth it. And if this woman chooses to abort, unless she tries her best to repent, I can no longer associate with her because I can not take the eratic behaviour of a woman who suffers after an abortion. Selfish again but the only option I see


Rachel’s Vineyard is a safe place to renew, rebuild and redeem hearts broken by abortion. Weekend retreats offer you a supportive, confidential and non-judgmental environment where women and men can express, release and reconcile painful post-abortive emotions to begin the process of restoration, renewal and healing.


It is unfortunate that you suffer the guilt of a decision you made, but if you confessed to a priest your sin then you have been absolved and you can try to focus on forgiving yourself. Yesterday is gone and cannot be changed, but it sounds as though you’ve learned from the experience and you can also pray that the Holy Spirit guide you and give you the appropriate response if you find yourself in a situation like that again. God bless and keep you.


If it is still bothering you, go and confess it. Maybe you can do some volunteer work at a crisis pregnancy center or in front of an abortion clinic. It will help you to make amends for not standing up for her baby's life. It could be that you would not have been able to change her mind in any case, but you don't know that.

Definitely go and confess if you can't remember absolution. I think it bothers you and that is a wonderful feeling when you can finally put something behind you and go forward.


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