And here we go with my scrupulosity. I need you folks to ease my tensions. Matthew 12:32 says blasphemy of the Holy Spirit will not ever be forgiven.
A little background: I was raised Catholic. In my teen years I became a pagan and during that time I think I was asked by a fellow student what I though of Jesus. I responded basically with, “I don’t think he really existed but as to his miracles, how do we not know he didn’t perform them by some other agent? How do we not know he didn’t do them by demons? Besides, according to Jewish law he got what he deserved.” I cannot tell if this question and answer are a false memory but at least this was at least my attitude and thought process at the time. I have of course, since come back to Christ, repented. In short, I held the same position as the Pharisees in the the 12th Chapter of St. Matthew, that Jesus worked his miracles by either other gods, or demons, or magic.
I have read countless articles on this. I understand the CCC #1864 states that this is final impenitence. I understand that most ECF’s say that this usually results in a hardness of heart that makes one unable to repent. I understand that “No one can come to me unless the Father draw him, and I will raise him up on the last day.”
My question is: Since there is currently DOGMATIC statement on what Jesus meant, could the words of CCC#1864 be wrong? *Could *Jesus have meant that a one time utterance about the Holy Spirit bring damnation even if repented of? Could not God have convinced me of Jesus’ Lordship only to fulfill the statement, “Every knee shall bend and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord, to the Glory of God the Father.”, only to throw me into hell in the end? Is the power of Confession literally unlimited, and would it include my accusation? I wish the Church would make a dogmatic Statement on this verse.