Another wedding planning question


#1

When planning a wedding, how involved was the father of the bride?

My hubby is quite hands on and I know will want a say in everything and possibly want many things done his way.

I certainly think that he and I need to agree on a budget, and I have no problem w/ him wanting a say in catering and the reception hall. Beyond that, I think dd and I should decide on flowers, decorations, cake, favors etc. To me, it’s something the mom and daughter get to do together. (I doubt he’ll care about dresses or tuxes)

We will soon have to set boundaries, but it will help knowing how other families managed. Thanks! —KCT


#2

Consider it a compliment that he even cares!

I think it is beautiful that he would want to be involved. The wedding is for your daughter right? He has every right to be as much involved as you are.

It’s a beautiful thing. I know you can work out letting him be a part if it means a lot to him.

Have a great time!


#3

I have been planning my wedding for almost a year and just last week my dad asked if I needed any help! I guess men don’t realize how important something is until it gets really close. But they’re usually really good at doing a job once you delegate it to him. They are more likely to be more helpful with big decisions than the small ones. They could care less about the colors, flowers, appetizers, favors, etc…


#4

It is wonderful that he wants to be involved, and fantastic that you both are able to assist financially. But remember that it is still her wedding day, and sometimes too much control from parents on those little choices a bride likes to make, can cause incredible stress and strain.

I would suggest sitting down with your daughter (I’m assuming it is your daughter who is getting married), and talk about who will be responsible for making what decisions UP FRONT. If you want total and complete control over the menu (for example), then make sure she knows this. Or anything else. What sometimes happens is that when the parents are paying the bill, they feel that they have total control, and if this is not made clear up front, it can be a disaster. Not saying this is your case, but just suggesting that all the roles and responsibilities of the wedding planning are discussed at the very onset to avoid any hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

The worst thing than a bridezilla is a parentzilla. It’s not any fun for anyone involved.

~Liza


#5

:rotfl:


#6

I am glad he wants to be involved. I certainly don’t want to exclude him. (unfortunately he gets controlling sometimes, so I have to figure out where to set boundaries and stick to them.)

We do want dd and her finace to be involved and know it will be an exercise in patience, wisdom and prudence to plan this together. We don’t intend to have total control over anything but the budget :wink: . Beyond that, we’re willing to work together.

We’ve told our girls since they were little that we won’t pay for thousand dollar dresses or expensive flowers, but we’re happy to spend money on the celebration afterwards. (and they’ve already been through the best, most orthodox Catholic marriage prep around!) —KCT


#7

My father was not at all involved in the wedding planning for my 2005 wedding. My mother & father both contributed the amount they felt comfortable with to the overall budget. They gave the $ to me, and I did all planning, budgeting, selection, and payment.

Yikes!

Yes, certainly he should have input on the amount you and he will contribute.

I think it is appropriate for your *daughter *to make these selections. If she asks for input, then I think it is appropriate for you and/or her father to give it.

I don’t understand why he would want to pick out flowers and such?


#8

Though it should be your daughter setting the boundaries and not you. If she is old enough to get married, then she is old enough to assert her own opinions and desires.


#9

Rent “Father of the Bride” and that should at least give some comic relief to the plans :slight_smile:


#10

**As a bride i let my father have quite a bit of control considering he was the one paying for it. Also both of my parents are artists so they designed the invitations themselves.

I got married in 2003 and my father passed away a year ago. One thing that has helped me was remember what a good time he had helping pick things for my wedding and how sad I’d of been now to have taken that from him:)**


closed #11

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