Okay, first of all, I live with a severe mental illness. I was abused as a child and now I suffer from consequences. I was on various medications, was hospitalized more than 6 times, and I tried to die more than 3 times.
Now, I live with the fact that I was born with a genetic disorder from birth. I was diagnosed with a rare neuromuscular disorder. But it will break my heart more if my mom chose to kill me rather than giving birth to me if she knew that I had this condition. Why? It’s because she might have chose on the fact that I had a genetic disorder, rather than trusting that God will handle my life.
She had no say on abuse that I endured. She wasn’t there when I was abused. She didn’t know what she was doing to me when the marriage broke down. She was not there when the school staff was beating me up.
It will break my heart if she decided to kill me.
I blamed God at the early years of my life because I was just a helpless child that was beaten and ridiculed every single day. When my mental health crashed, I blamed him for this magnitude of suffering. However, because of my friends that convinced me that my life was worth living and told me to smile, they eventually saved my life. My Catholic faith saved my life.
Eventually, my suffering led me to understand Christ’s suffering and the suffering that the Saints endured to become closer to God. He had a plan.
I’ve been on antidepressants since I was 14. Now I am in my early 20s. And yes, I can still say “smile, your mom choose life”.
I am not criticizing your post, but this thread absolutely breaks my heart.