I consider myself a good catholic but not a really social person. I would rather be at home with my wife and son than be with friends. My wife keeps saying I can go out but when I do I just want to go home. I honestly would rather pull weeds in my backyard then to go out with friends. I’m still polite and nice to people. Is this healthy behavior ?
Personally, being an antisocial Catholic myself, would first grant congrats that you have
a family of your own, not sure if I will every get there. Second, I would recommend trying
to be more social. It sounds like your happy, but be sure to always have a social outlet
available, just in case.
Humans are by nature, so I hear, supposed
to be social creatures, but I fall short of that
We’re all different. My husband is like you. He makes the effort for others’ sake sometimes, but he sometimes finds it wearying.
Some people want to be with others all the time, but some of us must have some time to ourselves or we begin to feel desperate! I’m an introvert who does extravert very well, because other people need that.
An introvert can appear to be an extrovert if he or she makes the effort to interact warmly with others, mostly for others’ sake as he or she would prefer to be at home
but the introvert, like you, is very glad to return home to a little solitude and to the quiet of immediate family.
It troubles you because your wife is more interested in a social life and by comparison, you’re a homebody. That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It’s a matter of balance. Sometimes we do need to do what the other wishes.
There is no correlation between being a good Catholic and being a social butterfly.
From my experience, people also go through different phases in their lives. In my twenties I loved being around people, but as I have grown older I appreciate the ability to turn off the world. Mainly because of my profession (teaching) I am “peopled out” by the end of the week and rejoice where there are no or very little social events on the weekend
The only question in your post is that your wife keeps saying you can go out. Why is she pushing you out of the house? Does she need her space away from you? I know this can happen with my spouse sometimes. Have you talked to her about this?
Do not feel bad about being the way you describe yourself,
You are a homely family type of man… You feel no need to beat your chest at the local Tavern or Golf club about how tough or smart you are, you are at peace with yourself…
Enjoy the beauty of your family and home life…
I could have written this myself. I do have a few close friends that I go out with from time to time for a beer or supper because I do think it’s important to have some outside contact. However I hate large social events like parties. I make an effort to go to my wife’s office Christmas party because I’ve known those folks for over 25 years and my wife is just as introverted, if not more, than I am and I know she appreciates that I be there for moral support. But my office? I’ve only worked there for 2.5 years and I would rather go to the dentist than to one of their parties or after-work gatherings. When 5 pm rolls around I can’t wait to get out of there and get home.
I’m 55; I used to be more outgoing when I was younger but that was a mask, and I had to really force myself especially in the corporate world. Now at 55 I don’t feel the need to try to fool anyone that I’m anyone other than who I am. I love my wife deeply and she’s the person I most enjoy spending time with. I’ve given up managing people and instead work solo as an IT analyst, couldn’t be happier (though I’m not crazy about my employer; but the work itself is OK).
There’s nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong with being introverted. God made us all different. Read “Quiet: the Power of Introverts” by Susan Cain.
Are you antisocial, do you have social phobia or anxiety, or are you just an introvert?
They are all vastly different. I ask because since you are married, it is extremely unlikely that you are truly antisocial. Antisocial does not mean introverted or social phobic. You can be one of the latter two and be married, but antisocial tendencies are quite different.
IMHO, you aren’t antisocial but introverted. Antisocial behavior is something quite off-putting, such as doing things with little to no regard for other people’s safety. Extraverts can be antisocial as well. Shocking, I know.
People label introverts as “antisocial”, “shy”, “quiet”, but that’s because they don’t really understand introversion. Introverts aren’t necessarily shy or quiet, they just draw their energy from within. Most introverts feel drained from being around large groups of people for too long, or in social events or functions. They feel the need to detach and do solitary activities to “recharge”. They prefer forming deep, lasting relationships and being with small groups or one to one.
The Church embraces both introverts and extraverts, because we are all members of the Body of Christ. If you don’t like to mingle around or socialize, your strength may lie elsewhere, such as in contemplation, prayer, writing and reflection. You aren’t in any way displaying unhealthy behavior, just because you prefer solitude over company.
Unrelated to Catholic tradition and Catholic customs