I would really like to date a Catholic man. One that is devout, doesn’t leave Mass early (I know I shouldn’t judge but it really, REALLY grinds my gears), doesn’t see going to Church on Sundays / Holy Days of Obligation as a chore… maybe go to adoration with me too, you know?
However, I see so many issues with myself that I doubt anyone would ever consider me.
Starting off, I am a convert from Atheism. I am in RCIA (and have been for about 2 years, my “track” is almost finished, will be confirmed / first reconciliation / first communion this coming year). I worry that this gives men a bad impression of me, rather than if I was a former protestant.
My life prior to conversion was in line with living a good Catholic life, apart from the whole “I don’t believe in God / Never been to Church and ain’t going to” bit. I have always been chaste and never entered into any romantic relationships because I had no interest in them, as academics were my highest priority. However, I feel as though some men consider those inexperienced in the realm of dating to be unattractive, or perhaps that there is something innately wrong with the inexperienced person. Alternatively, some men might say “former Atheist = Godless whore, ew gross!”.
On the physical level, while I feel my face is decent enough, I am overweight. Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, and while I am working to better my eating habits and take care of myself, it worries me that when men look at me they think “What a glutton, look how fat she is! I bet she would let kids starve in front of her! If only she had sent her plate to Africa!” or something else equally ridiculous. I do have a lot of scars from my job (work with animals) and carelessness (multiple times have missed cutting produce with a knife and cut my hands/arms… lost of bit of a finger once also) and I worry that people assume I self-harm, as I had a doctor assume that once.
I try to tell myself that it is all in my head, that surely people don’t think like that, and that if they were the kind of person who I would want to be my spouse (as that is the end game in dating, yes? Find a person who would be a good spouse?), they would look past these things, but I just don’t know. I doubt I could understand the mind of any man, let alone a Catholic man.
Advice, opinions, anything is welcome.