[quote=Ronin]First thing you do is stop spanking him…
Please don’t tell another parent how to discipline their child. As much as I’m sure there are other parents on here that would be mortified at the thought of spanking, to some of us, it’s a useful tool when used appropriately.
[quote=Ronin]Second thing you do is stop medicating him…
Please don’t tell a parent this unless you are very congnizent of the situation. My neice is ADHD and on medication, but she’s also epileptic and has Turret’s syndrome. As much as she takes meds for epilepsy, she also takes meds for ADHD. I agree that society has overmedicated children, but it’s necessary in some cases.
[quote=Ronin]Third thing you do is lose the attitude…
I didn’t see an attitude anywhere in the OP. I saw a mother that was concerned by an action her son took and wanted to know of another course of action from other parents that might be beneficial.
[quote=Ronin]Fourth thing you do is talk to his father about the situation and try to work out a plan on how you two can be consistent in parenting. If that means swallowing your pride a whole bunch you DO IT. Your child is more important than your ego…
I’m sure the mother knows this but I’m sure you are also aware that 7 yr old boys can get into alot very quickly without either parent knowing so in that case, where do you put blame? I’d put it on the boy if in fact he was checking things out without the knowledge of mom or dad. And in some cases… it’s a blameless situation and you can only deal with the outcome and go from there.
[quote=Ronin]Fifth thing you do is NEVER ask your son about what goes on when he is with his father. Fear not, he will tell you all you need to know on his own. …
A mother has every right to know what goes on where with her child. I’m sure she can figure out a way to talk to her son but if this was my son doing this… you can bet your bippy the FIRST thing I’d be asking (if I hadn’t already) was what he did/saw at dad’s. Yes, I’d ask some leading questions but this is akin to not discussing school with your child. “Gee, I’m not going to ask my child how school went and just hope they start talking.” I can tell you that if I wasn’t asked… I didn’t tell and MANY times I wished my parents had asked because I wanted them to know but didn’t know how to go about telling them or approaching a subject (it’s called immaturity in social skills… children are taught it from their parents and then at the same time, they are learning/realizing they can trust their parents.)
[quote=Ronin]Remember, kids pick things up from the weirdest places. Trying to assign blame is like nailing jell-o to a tree. When my daughter was in kindergarten she asked when she could start wearing a bra…
Again, I’m sure the mother knows this… however, your example of your DD asking about a bra is SOOOOOO minor compared to a 7 yr old exposing himself to his mother. I understand your example in the sense they (children) pick weird things up… but come on, a bra versus exposure?
I’m sure you have the best of intentions, but I felt you came across as pretty harsh on the mother.
As for my two cents… I’d just start asking my son where he saw it and if it sounds like dear ol’ dad just wasn’t paying attention, I’d call him up and discuss it with him. But I think you handled it appropriately but if he’s made his first communion, I’d certainly have him go to Confession for dishonoring his mother. I wouldn’t freak about it (at least not in front of him) and if he’s apologized aptly and shown that he’s sorry, I’d let it go. Good luck!