My wife and I have become foster parents. The first two boys we had were only with us for a couple weeks and appeared to go home to a "decent" mother. They were abit needy but fit in well with our family and looked at their stay with us like it was "camp"
We have had two little girls since May. When they arrived they were extremely tramatized. Mom and dad were arrested for felony child neglect and drug posession. The older one was nearly 4 and was not potty trained, both children had lice and sores on thier privates from wearing soiled diapers. The younger one (nearly 2) was deathly afraid of me and would cover her eyes whenever I walked into the room or if she noticed I was looking at her. Her older sister said I looked just like one of her dad's friends(?). There have been certain clues that lead us to believe that the older child has been sexually abused and we have reported them to the case worker but no action has been taken.
The two were delayed in social developement and suffer emotional and behavioral issues. We have worked long and hard to help them adjust. The younger one has made great strides in her evaluations with "Parents as Teachers" and the older one was identified as "being in need" and enrolled at the public preschool with an IEP. She too has improved but has her own issues we continue to deal with.
While the children are doing better, the parents are not. Dad is in jail again (new charges) and possibly headed to prison for a couple years. Mom has failed drug tests and started living with another noted dopehead/lowlife as soon as her common law husband went to jail. However we found out (in a round about way) that mom wants the children moved back in with her and her lawyer has filed this motion.
The girls have a court appointed (and paid) lawyer that has never spoken to them and has never spoke to us - we don't even knwo who he is. The case worker has commented several times about the mother "she would be a good mama if it wasn't for the drugs". I guess its all in what you get used to. It would appear that everyone "in power" is fine with thise proposal except for us.
We know these children will eventually go back to their mother but we do not feel that there has been enough (any?) improvement in their home living conditions. The children go home for three day visits now (even though both parents have violated their probation conditions) and come back repeating old habits we had stopped and are usually filthy.
Who do we contact to help us prevent this? Our goal is to help both the mother and the children. We hope to "force" the mother to take parenting classes (or even classes similar to what we took to become foster parents). We would also hope to force background checks on everyone living in the home (similar to the background checks we had to run on people who might babysit the children).
Is there a source out there to help guide us through this? We have no experiance in this area and don't want to make a mistake that may cost these children their future.