Any city girls who moved to the country?


#1

Hello,

I am in a serious relationship and we are contemplating marriage---my only concern is that it will require me to move to West Virginia. I spend my whole life in the city and I am worried about it, so i am wondering whether any girls out there made such a move before. Thanks, all encouragement and prayers would help.


#2

Is she in Charles Town, Huntington, Martinsburg, Morgantown, Charleston, or Beckley? Im not a girl but I am very familiar with West Virginia. I am from DC so I know what its like to go from DC to WVA. The amenities are different. Things arent open as late and there are fewer places to go. There is no Tysons Corner Mall or Mazza Gallery. No Five Guys Burgers. You might have a Wal Mart close by in many parts of WVA.

You will see the stars though. In DC, you dont see many stars. You will have beautiful clear skies at night in WVA.


#3

I never have, but have you ever heard of Ree Drummond? She's the most famous woman I know who has even done it!!

thepioneerwoman.com/

She was an LA girl who planned to move to Chicago, met a cowboy, and moved out to Nowhere, Oklahoma and is now a pretty big blogger and homeschooler. She's not Catholic, but she provides a lot of insight into that lifestyle I think.

Peruse her blog and read her love story here.

Best of luck!


#4

I grew up in a small-ish town. There were about a thousand kids in my high school but I lived outside of town in a community of about 1,000. But, several cities of 15K to 30K people were not too far away.

Then as an adult went to a large college and then moved to one of the 5 largest cities in the US (3+ Million people) and lived there for 15 years before meeting my DH.

I met DH through Ave Maria Singles. Like you, the discussion turned to who would move and where.

He is a farmer, with animals and crops. We live on a 480 acre farm. The nearest town is 15 minutes drive and it has 5,000 people. The nearest major city is 1 hour away and has 250K people. The nearest large city (3+ Million) is 4 hours away.

I love living in a small, rural town. I kept my job and work from home, so that helps. I travel some with my job too. And, we were older when we met and married.

There are pros and cons to wherever you live. You can't run to Starbucks because there isn't one. You miss all the great restaurants b/c Dairy Queen is the only haute cuisine around out here. But you get great kitchen gadgets for Christmas and cook gourmet. :)

The internet is really the great equalizer b/c while the things I'd come to appreciate from a shopping standpoint aren't available locally, they are a click away. Unique ingredients, sophisticated style, whatever, it's just a click away.

On the con side, even after you've lived in a small town 10 years, you are still an outsider-- except there are some exceptions made for someone who marries in. People know everyone else's business. Speeding tickets are reported in the local newspaper in the Crime Beat. People gossip. It's hard to break in to some social circles. People are slow to change. New ideas don't catch on quickly. People don't pay much attention to what's showing at the movies (because you only have 2 screens and they don't get first run movies). It's a different lifestyle.

But, I don't need sophisticated style because jeans and a sweatshirt are just fine for Mass. People are friendly. We don't lock our doors. Crime is low. The air is clean. People work hard and have conservative values.

No one else can tell you if this lifestyle is for you. But, I tend to think home is where the heart is.

Maybe you can try it out? Depending on your job, you might be able to work remotely? Or take a long vacation and see if you are bored out of your mind in a week.

That's the sum total of my wisdom 5 years on after getting out of the rat race. I don't miss traffic. I don't miss long lines shopping. I don't miss pollution. I don't miss crime. I don't miss the hassle that city life can bring.

I do miss friends. I do miss bookstores. I do miss good restaurants. I do miss my family.


#5

[quote="ForAll, post:3, topic:221278"]
I never have, but have you ever heard of Ree Drummond? She's the most famous woman I know who has even done it!!

thepioneerwoman.com/

She was an LA girl who planned to move to Chicago, met a cowboy, and moved out to Nowhere, Oklahoma and is now a pretty big blogger and homeschooler. She's not Catholic, but she provides a lot of insight into that lifestyle I think.

Peruse her blog and read her love story here.

Best of luck!

[/quote]

And her cookbook is great. :thumbsup:


#6

Actually, I am a girl, i don't know why everybody assumes that i am a boy lol. I will be graduating law school very soon so we plan on being within driving distance of either morgantown or charlston so that i can have a career too. thank you all for your advice, it sounds really good. keep it coming and keep me in your prayers.


#7

[quote="aborodki, post:6, topic:221278"]
Actually, I am a girl, i don't know why everybody assumes that i am a boy lol. I will be graduating law school very soon so we plan on being within driving distance of either morgantown or charlston so that i can have a career too. thank you all for your advice, it sounds really good. keep it coming and keep me in your prayers.

[/quote]

My bad, I didnt spell check and put she instead of he :D

Morgantown and Charleston constitutes a very wide area. Your options for employment will be very limited in Morgantown. Morgantown has UWV and thats about it. If you want to be a professor, UWV is a great place.

Charleston may be better for a lawyer because it is the state capital. Even so, WVA isnt exactly a hotspot for lawyers depending on the branch of law you are hoping to be involved with.

Most of the towns between Charleston and Morgantown have 5,000 or less people. Many have less than 1,000 people. It is mountainous and can be very isolated particularly in the winter when there is snow or ice. Be prepared for frequent snow and to feel isolated. You wont have thousands of people close by or many conveniences you have now. Most of the cities arent as walkable as DC is. Be ready to drive everywhere you want to go to. On Sundays, everything will likely be closed.


#8

One thing I left out, if you are used to having or like having intellectual discussions or philosophical discussions you will be very isolated and lonely in most rural WVA. WVA is the poorest state in the country and the state with the fewest undergraduate degrees among the population. It is a coal mining state. Most people are employed in coal mines or they are on government welfare. Other industries are there but they are very small. It is a mountain state so it is a state that lives off its natural resources, which is coal.


#9

My husband is from WV and we are considering moving back there.

How much time have you spent in WV? If you're in law school, it's quite possible that most of your relationship has been your boyfriend coming to visit you in DC (due to your schedule)... I'd suggest spending as much time in WV as you can over the next few months, to get a better feel for it.

Charleston and Morgantown are nice cities, though certainly much smaller than DC. There is not much of anything in between them on I-79, though. For lawyers, I'm not sure where the job market would be best -- possibly Charleston, since that's the state capital? The area around Huntington might also be a decent choice. Definitely do your research and network, network, network.


#10

My husband is from a Midwestern state where he literally grew up in the middle of nowhere. It's basically country, and what Laura Ingalls Wilder knew as "the big woods.":D I on the other hand, come from one of the most "city" cities in the country, and currently live by two cities juxtaposed together. I am a city girl and my husband is a country boy. But I will be moving to the country next year, albeit it'll be close to a somewhat mid-sized city.

If you have concerns you need to consider what is most important.

  1. Will there be jobs available?
  2. Are there points of interest, entertainment, etc. that you and your soon-to-be-husband-to-be could indulge in?
  3. What do you consider to be important resources that you must have close by?
  4. What are you willing to do without, or have to travel a bit more to get to?
  5. Will there be a church community you can become part of?

My personal concerns are job and having a church community. Since the city that we might be moving to or close by has grown significantly over the past few years, I don't have any concerns about not having certain amenities available.

I know that I am going to miss the "big city," but I will get used to it. I won't get over it because I like knowing that I am by a larger city, but there is something peaceful about the country. And it's probably a better place to raise children too.


#11

I know of two big city girls that have moved into the "wilderness" and now that they have settled they might miss the city they would never go back to living in the city.

As one poster mentioned you can see the stars at night but never mentioned you can actually hear yourself thinking. The quietness may take awhile to get used to but once you have found that peace and quiet you will wonder why anybody would want to live in the city.


#12

I got the feeling the OP hasnt decided on an exact place in WV to live in. If she needs to move to WV, maybe her boyfriend/husband wouldnt mind moving to Martinsburg or Charles Town. Both of those two have many commuters that take MARC into DC every day. Many drive or telecommute. It might be a good compromise.

Rural WV between Morgantown and Charleston will be a definite culture shock for someone coming from DC. The drive to Church could be very long depending on where you decide to live. Im not sure about Russian Orthodox though. People in WV are very nice but if you are used to fine dining and high culture and the international diversity that DC has you will not have those things. If you dont mind being in mountains with neighbors spread out, WV will be a nice place. It may take time to get used to living in a small town though.


#13

[quote="1ke, post:4, topic:221278"]
I grew up in a small-ish town. There were about a thousand kids in my high school but I lived outside of town in a community of about 1,000. But, several cities of 15K to 30K people were not too far away.

Then as an adult went to a large college and then moved to one of the 5 largest cities in the US (3+ Million people) and lived there for 15 years before meeting my DH.

I met DH through Ave Maria Singles. Like you, the discussion turned to who would move and where.

I hope you won't mind if I build off of your response, because you said a lot of things that came to my mind and I think you have given a balanced account.

He is a farmer, with animals and crops. We live on a 480 acre farm. The nearest town is 15 minutes drive and it has 5,000 people. The nearest major city is 1 hour away and has 250K people. The nearest large city (3+ Million) is 4 hours away.

The nearest town is a 15 min drive, but I doubt if there are 1000 people there. The nearest city is an hour's drive.

I love living in a small, rural town. I kept my job and work from home, so that helps. I travel some with my job too. And, we were older when we met and married.

I left my job with a major corporation six months prior to our move here. There is no chance that I could find similar work here, but I'm ok with that.

There are pros and cons to wherever you live. You can't run to Starbucks because there isn't one. You miss all the great restaurants b/c Dairy Queen is the only haute cuisine around out here. But you get great kitchen gadgets for Christmas and cook gourmet. :)

The internet is really the great equalizer b/c while the things I'd come to appreciate from a shopping standpoint aren't available locally, they are a click away. Unique ingredients, sophisticated style, whatever, it's just a click away.

Thank God (seriously) for satellite tv and internet! The internet is where I get my clothes, shoes, books, this website

On the con side, even after you've lived in a small town 10 years, you are still an outsider-- except there are some exceptions made for someone who marries in. People know everyone else's business. Speeding tickets are reported in the local newspaper in the Crime Beat. People gossip. It's hard to break in to some social circles. People are slow to change. New ideas don't catch on quickly. People don't pay much attention to what's showing at the movies (because you only have 2 screens and they don't get first run movies). It's a different lifestyle.

It's true that everyone does know everyone else's business, but people are always helping their neighbors out. My neighbor has a police scanner. He gives me all the local information. There are basically two camps, the natives and the second-home owners. The great outdoors is the entertainment here. If you need nightlife, you are out of luck.

But, I don't need sophisticated style because jeans and a sweatshirt are just fine for Mass. People are friendly. We don't lock our doors. Crime is low. The air is clean. People work hard and have conservative values.

Same here, except I lock my doors because I'm still a city girl.

No one else can tell you if this lifestyle is for you. But, I tend to think home is where the heart is.

Maybe you can try it out? Depending on your job, you might be able to work remotely? Or take a long vacation and see if you are bored out of your mind in a week.

A try out would be such a good idea. .

That's the sum total of my wisdom 5 years on after getting out of the rat race. I don't miss traffic. I don't miss long lines shopping. I don't miss pollution. I don't miss crime. I don't miss the hassle that city life can bring.

Can't argue with any of that. One thing that may help greatly is to make some social connections, like your new church, in advance if at all possible.

I do miss friends. I do miss bookstores. I do miss good restaurants. I do miss my family.

[/quote]

I've moved long distance several times and each time found it took longer than I thought it would to feel like it was home.


#14

No, i haven't yet decided where in wv, and he is holding off buying a house until i come down there and take a look. I am not big on the nightlife and don't really care for it, but i am used to having everything within close proximity. I also don't care much for fine culture or international diversity. I am also interested in oil and gas law which might be a little bit more useful down there. I am just wondered that it will be so different than i am used to and as a person, i don't handle change very wee. But then again, it is also for the first time in my life i feel really safe and loved by someone, so this is a big dilemma for me.


#15

[quote="aborodki, post:14, topic:221278"]
No, i haven't yet decided where in wv, and he is holding off buying a house until i come down there and take a look. I am not big on the nightlife and don't really care for it, but i am used to having everything within close proximity. I also don't care much for fine culture or international diversity. I am also interested in oil and gas law which might be a little bit more useful down there. I am just wondered that it will be so different than i am used to and as a person, i don't handle change very wee. But then again, it is also for the first time in my life i feel really safe and loved by someone, so this is a big dilemma for me.

[/quote]

Well you have the best reason I can think of for making the move, feeling safe and loved by the person you will be sharing your life with. Pray for guidance.


#16

[quote="ForAll, post:3, topic:221278"]
I never have, but have you ever heard of Ree Drummond? She's the most famous woman I know who has even done it!!

thepioneerwoman.com/

She was an LA girl who planned to move to Chicago, met a cowboy, and moved out to Nowhere, Oklahoma and is now a pretty big blogger and homeschooler. She's not Catholic, but she provides a lot of insight into that lifestyle I think.

Peruse her blog and read her love story here.

Best of luck!

[/quote]

I'm so glad you posted this. I loved reading her love story. I've been up for hours just going from one chapter to the next. Makes me want my own Marlboro man! :)


#17

I don't need a Marlboro Man, I already married a country boy:p And this one totes a rifle:D


#18

My best friend is a big time Marlboro Man. Its part of his Maslow's Hierarchy of needs.


#19

[quote="mjs1987, post:18, topic:221278"]
My best friend is a big time Marlboro Man. Its part of his Maslow's Hierarchy of needs.

[/quote]

WOW...if that wasn't a pun to shame Shakespeare, I don't know what was!


#20

I have lived in both the city and the country.

City life was wonderful in some ways. I could walk the quarter mile to a local grocer and get fresh italian bread, homade preservitave-free sausage, ripe tomatoes and fresh cheese. I shared a wireless signal with my housemates. I always had someone around willing to watch my dog. There were 9 churches within 20 minutes and I could pick a mass (one starting every 15min-30min) between 4pm to 6pm on Sat, 6am to 12:30pm & 5pm to 8pm on Sunday. 3 were in walking distance. Stores were open until 11 or 12, and some were 24hrs including gas stations. I liked most of my neighbors and there was always fun things.

Country life is tougher. A roundtrip to the mailbox is .2 miles. Gas stations close at 9pm..10pm if you're lucky. There are 4 churches within 30 minutes drive, and most only offer one Saturday and one Sunday mass. I don't have any neigbors and I have to DRIVE everywhere. No one likes to take care of my dog becuase it's a trip. My neigbors have their own lives. I can't even bike to the store resonably because of the distance and lack of sholder on the roads. I can't afford internet because I'd have to pay comcast $79 a month or get sattalite which is almost $90 a month.

Country life is wonderful in some ways. I can let my dog run around my 1/2 acre of land I'm renting. I can boat any time I want. I can have huge parties and no one complains. I have a spectacular garden and can grow fresh tomatoes. I never have trouble parking...and I also have a huge amount of indoor space.

City life was always noisy...I had to worry about creepy neigbors/noisy neigbors/pot-smoking neighbors. The streets were never plowed nicely and neither was my designated parking spot. My apartment was cramped.

All said, I prefer country life...I probably would enjoy a town sort of life more...because rural areas can be hard.


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