I suffer from OCD and it’s got really, really, bad.
I have what is called 'the doubting disease." Basically I will ‘doubt’ a certain thing even though I know the thing in doubt is True, but my anxiety gives this stinging feeling of the thing being irrational and uncertain.
Here is an example:
A son is told "I love you’ by their mother. The mother is a sincere woman and there is no evidence whatsoever that she didn’t really mean ‘I love you’. But, the son will still doubt whether his mother loves him or not…simply because of a feeling. He knows his fear is irrational, but his fear gives his doubt a feeling of rationality.
I have a much more serious form of it though.
My doubts have got to the point where I actually doubt that I’m doubting, even though I know I’m doubting…My brain feels no certainty in any laws of logic, reasoning, because my condition causes me to doubt those as well.
The only remedy I have to is know the doubts are an illusion caused by my condition. This is easier said then done, and it has really negatively effected my spiritual life.
I was wondering if there are any saints who experienced something similar to me, and if there is any reading that can be done on it.
(Yes, I am seeing a therapist as well)