Any spiritual reading on OCD, fear of uncertainty,doubt?

I suffer from OCD and it’s got really, really, bad.

I have what is called 'the doubting disease." Basically I will ‘doubt’ a certain thing even though I know the thing in doubt is True, but my anxiety gives this stinging feeling of the thing being irrational and uncertain.

Here is an example:
A son is told "I love you’ by their mother. The mother is a sincere woman and there is no evidence whatsoever that she didn’t really mean ‘I love you’. But, the son will still doubt whether his mother loves him or not…simply because of a feeling. He knows his fear is irrational, but his fear gives his doubt a feeling of rationality.

I have a much more serious form of it though.

My doubts have got to the point where I actually doubt that I’m doubting, even though I know I’m doubting…My brain feels no certainty in any laws of logic, reasoning, because my condition causes me to doubt those as well.

The only remedy I have to is know the doubts are an illusion caused by my condition. This is easier said then done, and it has really negatively effected my spiritual life.

I was wondering if there are any saints who experienced something similar to me, and if there is any reading that can be done on it.

(Yes, I am seeing a therapist as well)

Asking St. Dymphna to intercede for you.

Sounds like you are working hard on understanding your condition and recovering from it. There is a strong spiritual component. Satan likes to creep in through every vulnerable crack in our lives, and a doubting mind is such a vulnerability.

The Screwtape letters by CS Lewis gave me a whole new perspective on the spiritual aspects of psychological warfare.

It also helps to use tried and true spiritual weapons, such as the Jesus Prayer, Rosary, praying scripture, and especially, praying in tongues (if you are open to such gifts).

You cannot banish darkness and doubt by willing it out, but you can put as much light as you can find, and the darkness will flee.

St Alphonsus maybe

There are millions of people like you, including many saints and some who may not be, like Luther (!). OCD is a common and treatable mental condition. I hope your therapist is scientifically trained and that you have a doctor who can work with your therapist to see if there are drugs suitable to assist you. Many people suffer for decades when simple treatments would help. Not everyone is lucky enough to find a ‘magic bullet’ but many do. The search is worthwhile. And remember - it has to do with the electro-chemical processes in at least one of your physical organs. It has nothing to do with God, any more that a case of shingles or gout does.

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