Any "unplanned" people out there?


#1

I constantly have to listen to arguement from so called pro-choice people (what they really mean is pro abortion) that is better for a child not to be born than to be “unwanted”. They could suffer abuse ect.

I was adopted. My biological mom was an unwed young women. My husband was concieved out of wedlock and his father tried to pressure his mom into an (at the time illegal) abortion, she refused. They married and his father was abusive. My best friend’s mom was 15 when she was born and she was raised by her grandmother. (She in turn gave birth to her 1st child at 17, married the father and had 2 more kids & they’re still happily married 15 years later.)

Even though my husband was abused was that a reason not to be born? He has overcome alot and is a wonderful loving father and husband & I can’t imagine life with out him. I was born with a life threating heart condition which has required surgeries and life long treatment (including a eventual need for a heart transplant) does that mean because I wasn’t perfectly healthy I shouldn’t have born?

I was wondering if there are others out there whom society believes should never have been here?


#2

I was wanted.

My first son was unplanned, and IMO at first, “unwanted.”

My second son was unplanned and “unwanted” by me, but was the last straw that helped in finally getting through my thick skull that I should be married. We were married June 1; he was born on Dec 25. (In an autobiography he wrote for a class, he said it was the most significant birth on that date in 2000 years.)

We then had three daughters and another son. Six total, ranging in age from 7 to 18. They are all doing well in school, are intelligent, socially well-adjusted, and faithful Catholics. They stick up for each other, although the little ones especially are prone to occasional quarrels.

They are all so beautiful and precious it astounds me. I cannot believe how blessed I am, but the evidence is right there in flesh and blood every day.

Alan


#3

I was “unplanned” but definitely not unloved.

Thankfully, the word abortion never crossed either of my parents lips. But they would have been prime candidates for the procedure according to most pro-choicers.

They were young, not set in a career, never travelled, did not go to college, and were totally unprepered for a child.

But, even at that time in their life, they knew that none of those things was as important as a human life…me.

They had something that a lot of young people nowadays do not: commitment. They committed to eachother by getting married(which they had already talked about before they found out about me), and they committed to me by being my parents.

They did not give up when things got tough…and they did get tough. My mom did not hand me off to her parents so she could go out and party and go back to her “pre-mom” days. She stayed home and cut and pasted, colored, played, taught, and loved me. My dad worked his butt off to provide for his family. But when he was home he was my daddy.I was a total daddy’s girl.

Did they make mistakes? Of course… but who doesn’t? Would I have been better off if they chose to give me up for adoption? I doubt it, but I guess I will never know. But the important thing is would I have been better off dead? Or more accurately, murdered?

And like another poster said… even if the child is abused, abandoned, mentally handicapped, or anything else, do they not still deserve to keep their life? Who knows what God has planned for them?

I have never personally come into contact with someone who is openly pro-abortion. I hope I never do.

Finella


#4

I do not believe that there is such a thing as an “unwanted” child.

Someone, somewhere would be thrilled to have each child who is born, regardless of handicaps, ethnicity, race, etc.

Unfortunately, some babies are seen as “trophies”, so a lot of them are kept by their birth parents, not because they are wanted for the little human person they are, the little bundle of God’s heavenly love, but because they symbolize some twisted rite of passage or provide an extra assistance check.

That is what, in our culture these days, gives rise to the “unwanted babies” myth. And the sad truth is, alot of these pregnancies ARE planned, for the reasons given above (something Planned Parenthood refuses to admit.)

Our son was an “inconvenience”, a “mistake”, “bad timing”, “oops”, or whatever to his birth mother. She was 17 but mature enough to realize that she neither had the means nor the maturity to raise him, so she put him up for adoption (against the advice of her many friends who told her she could keep him, there was LOTS of help available.) She told her friends, “My baby doesn’t need help… he needs PARENTS!”

BlueRose


#5

I was wanted but because of my mother’s health issues the docs advised her to have a theraputic abortion which was the only legal way to go in those days…

Needless to say she refused. My mom and I did NOT have the best of relationships but after I converted I determined to honor her because every time I lost patience with her God reminded me that she could have had an abortion and didn’t. Our relationship improved greatly. I’m glad I made that decision…she passed away recently.

All of my kids were wanted but two of them were 'surprises!" :stuck_out_tongue:

dream wanderer


#6

Hi there!

I was an “oops” baby! My parents came to the USA from Italy in 1970 with two daughters, ages 13 and 11. My father worked two jobs to put food on the table even though at the time he spoke no english. Money was pretty tight after they bought a house in 1973 because they had a morgage to pay and my mother’s medical bills were already begining to pile up (she suffered from obesity, and all the related ailments). When my mother found out she was pregnant it caused a bit of a crisis because of my mother’s health and our lack of money. I found out many years later that my mother’s younger sister and brother tried to convince her to have an abortion, but she refused (needless to say finding this out changed my views on abortion real fast!!)

However that’s not to say that we haven’t suffered. I spent my entire life watching my mother slowly disintegrate to the point that by the time she died (1 year ago) she could no longer walk without a walker, she needed a constant supply of oxygen, she couldn’t use the toilet on her own or wash herself. But she always suffered with dignity. She never took things out on other people even when hospital personel treated her like c***p. I thank God for my mother because she not only gave me life, but she taught me the redemptive power of suffering without even saying a word. I’ve always wondered how many souls were saved by her suffering; I haven’t a clue but I can tell you without a doubt that one of them was me:)

Peace,
Jade


#7

I am sure I was, although my parents never said it. They were willing to accept what God planned. I was the middle child of seven. My parents bought their first house after WWII, a two bedroom place in the suburbs. It was too small for them when they bought it. I was threir first baby born to that house. We kept that house until all seven of us were born. There was sleeper sofe in the living room, and there was a little indent in the room that was a good size for a baby bed. There was always a baby, and my parents used the sleeper sofa at night in the living room. The girls had one room and the boys had the other. There was not a basement for it was a slab house. We did with less, but the babies were always wanted and welcomed.


#8

My mother always said that she had six little rhythmeers. This was with the rhythm method before NFP. We weren’t planned by our parents (we were by God) but we were all loved. I am one of the lucky ones who thinks back fondly on my childhood and still keeps in touch regularly with my siblings.


#9

my mother was a high risk pregnancy with all of her children, she only carried me for five months and then i was born with no hair or eyelashes or nipples, i could see or hear, and i had a half of a lung and wasnt expected to live through the night, if i did i would have been mentally retarded, i did and im not. i have a good job, made great grades in school, they told my mom not to have anymore kids, she had 3 more! ones a lawyer, another to start culinary school soon, and the other one on her way to Harvard, my mom rocks!


#10

I also was most definitely unplanned, but not unwanted! My brother was a freshman in college when I was born and my sister was a sophomore in high school - I’m sure my parents thought they were finished! In fact the doctor only did the pregnancy test as a last ditch effort to find out what was “wrong” with Mama - she was 39. That was almost 37 years ago and many times I have been told that I kept my parents young - they are now 77 and 80 and still do pretty well and I have only recently begun to realize how “old” they really are!

Missa


#11

My mom was 40 and my dad was 50 when they found out they were having me they both were divorced and not married to each other at the time

My dad mentioned abortion, to which my mom said “I’ve raised four children by myself and I can raise this one with our without you as well”.

My mom still recalls my dad running up and down the street to show the neighbors pictures of his baby girl the day after she was born :wink:

My two children were unplanned, but wanted.

BTW, my mom, pregnant for the fourth time in six years went to her priest to talk about options for married couples this was in the 60’s. The priest asked her if she was using the rhythm method. She replied “Father, the only time rhythm works for me is on the dance floor!!”

LOL

Take care all


#12

Unplanned and wanted by my parents - though the Dr had other ideas. Since I had three older siblings at the time the doc suggested a D&C. My mom found a new doc :smiley:


#13

Unplanned. I’m the invisible presence in my parents wedding pictures. Very much wanted, though, my grandparents loved and adored me…and I them!


#14

Im the oldest of 8. my parents werent planning to have children for a year or 2 when I came onto this earth, good thing I came earlier than they planned, if I were born 18 hours later dad would of been shipped off to the vietnam war.


#15

My dad calls me the “thermometer baby”. Thank God NFP wasn’t too advanced in the late sixties! He said that my mom said that the temperature was “just right” and in hindsight … he admits that it was.


#16

I was born 13 months after my brother… I always tease him he wasn’t planned, I was… :smiley:

I was not married when I had my daughter… 21, in college, not really set for the world. I finished college, bought our first home, I have done really well for us. Gods blessing of course. I always tell everyone SHE IS MY PHYSICAL PROOF THAT GOD LOVES ME! :angel1:< my daughter :gopray2:< me everyday thanking God for her.


#17

I am the youngest of 4 and my mother says that none of us was planned. She was told that she would never have children and low and behold she was pg with her 1st. Back in the 60’s, you were thought of as odd if you didn’t get pg right after you got married and have a slew of kiddies. So here we are.

My dd wasn’t planned but has been such a joy to my life and my little one in the oven was definitely not planned, but God has a plan for me and my baby and oh yea, dh too!


#18

Mom was 43 when she had me. I only recently realized this was almost 9 months to the day after their anniversary. I asked her about it & she said, “Oh, rhythm doesn’t count on holidays!” :slight_smile:

My “too old” mother gave me the unselfish gift of life in a joyful embrace of celebration & love. Praise be to God!
May God bless her abundantly… Please help me in praying for her… her 90th birthday is next month.


#19

What Beautiful, Beautiful stories!! They bring tears to the eyes.
Very moving! Thanks for sharing. :slight_smile: What a terrific topic!

:blessyou:
Annie


#20

[quote=AmyS]I was born 13 months after my brother… I always tease him he wasn’t planned, I was… :smiley:

[/quote]

Hmmm. He could easily retort that after he was born they decided they wanted another one like him! :wink:

Alan


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