Anyone else persecuted for not fornicating like a drunken bunny?


#1

"You've been dating how long and you still haven't hit that yet?"

"You don't have sex?! Wtf do you do with yourself?"

"If you don't do it she'll leave you."

"What do you mean you aren't having sex before marriage? What if she sucks at sex? You'll be unhappy forever. You gotta try before you buy."

"You don't masturbate? You're gonna die of prostate cancer!"

-Classic answers to "I'm waiting till marriage." these days. What have we come to? I have few friends because I'm "boring".


#2

I have never openly talked about sex with my friends. Not before marriage and not now. If and when that subject comes up, this chick gets quite. I was sexually active before marriage and still didn't have discussions about it. Some people even assumed I was a virgin because I didn't talk about it. I just let people assume what they wanted to. It isn't anyone's business one way or the other. :shrug:


#3

I wouldn't even discuss it with these folks. If they ask again, give them the "Miss Manners glare" and ask why they think your sex life is any of their business.


#4

That’s not persecution, for the record.

If you’re comfortable with your choice why do you care what others think of it? Furthermore why are you discussing your sex life with them in the first place?


#5

[quote="KendraDZ1902, post:2, topic:338700"]
Some people even assumed I was a virgin because I didn't talk about it. I just let people assume what they wanted to.

[/quote]

It was the opposite for me. People assumed I was some kind of Cassanova because I always kept my mouth shut.


#6

[quote="Layp3rs0n, post:1, topic:338700"]

-Classic answers to "I'm waiting till marriage." these days. What have we come to? I have few friends because I'm "boring".

[/quote]

Just curious: how old are you? I ask because if people think you're boring because of chastity, then you must have a very narrow band of friends. I mean, if that's their primary interest in having fun, they sound like pubescent teenagers.

Not that I have a whole lot of friends, but sex never comes up in conversation. Of course, we're all married....


#7

I am thirty. These are co workers who are all adults.


#8

:thumbsup::shrug:

[quote="KendraDZ1902, post:2, topic:338700"]
I have never openly talked about sex with my friends. Not before marriage and not now. If and when that subject comes up, this chick gets quite. I was sexually active before marriage and still didn't have discussions about it. Some people even assumed I was a virgin because I didn't talk about it. I just let people assume what they wanted to. It isn't anyone's business one way or the other. :shrug:

[/quote]


#9

Tell them its a very personal matter and you don't discuss it. Its a bit like talking about your underwear we don't discuss that either.


#10

[quote="Layp3rs0n, post:7, topic:338700"]
I am thirty. These are co workers who are all adults.

[/quote]

So they are co-workers, not actual friends? Sex definitely shouldn't be a subject that is talked about at work.

No matter who it is, it is no one's business what you do/don't do in the bedroom. You don't have to answer questions and you can definitely remove yourself from the group if sex becomes the topic.

I don't think you are being persecuted, though.


#11

Tell 'em to mind their own beeswax.


#12

[quote="Layp3rs0n, post:1, topic:338700"]
"You've been dating how long and you still haven't hit that yet?"

"You don't have sex?! Wtf do you do with yourself?"

"If you don't do it she'll leave you."

"What do you mean you aren't having sex before marriage? What if she sucks at sex? You'll be unhappy forever. You gotta try before you buy."

"You don't masturbate? You're gonna die of prostate cancer!"

-Classic answers to "I'm waiting till marriage." these days. What have we come to? I have few friends because I'm "boring".

[/quote]

None of those comments, as inappropriate as they are, rise to the level of persecution. Why are you even engaging them on the topic at all and at work no less? It's no ones business. It doesn't sound like these people are friends anyway, but actually coworkers that are acquaintances. Are you socializing with them outside of work? And considering their behavior towards you why are you continuing to, if you are?


#13

[quote="Layp3rs0n, post:7, topic:338700"]
I am thirty. These are co workers who are all adults.

[/quote]

If you're thirty you are old enough to know better than to worry about other's opinions.

Also, if you are having trouble making and keeping friends maybe it is because of a personality flaw you have. I'm not saying this to be cruel or hurt your feelings. Part of your trouble socializing may not come from your views on marriage and chastity but in the way you present those views.


#14

I hope these are not your friends as they all have dirty minds and don’t know how to behave. Why don’t you consider joining - Legion of Mary, Knights of Columbanus, etc, where the air is a whole lot cleaner.


#15

I disagree with all the other posters above. Our culture is sliding ever further downward, especially regarding sexual immorality and promiscuity. Your willingness to discuss the fact that you are doing the right thing, doing what every Catholic ought to be doing, serves as an Evangelical witness to your friends/ co-workers. Imagine if every unmarried Catholic was as open as you are to embracing waiting until marriage (again the only moral option), society might just be a better place. Besides, we live in a society where many active homosexuals like to "come out" and declare their preference for sodomy, why should someone who is practicing a virtue be silent? Keep at it, who knows you might be having more of an effect than you imagine on your fellows. I'd imagine they "persecute" (not the right word, btw) you because their consciences are bothering them and they can't stand to see someone not wallowing in moral filth.

Also, get involved with some real friends, especially other unmarried male Catholics who are also committed to living out the Church's sexual teachings.

God bless.


#16

[quote="PietroPaolo, post:15, topic:338700"]
I disagree with all the other posters above. Our culture is sliding ever further downward, especially regarding sexual immorality and promiscuity. Your willingness to discuss the fact that you are doing the right thing, doing what every Catholic ought to be doing, serves as an Evangelical witness to your friends/ co-workers. Imagine if every unmarried Catholic was as open as you are to embracing waiting until marriage (again the only moral option), society might just be a better place. Besides, we live in a society where many active homosexuals like to "come out" and declare their preference for sodomy, why should someone who is practicing a virtue be silent? Keep at it, who knows you might be having more of an effect than you imagine on your fellows. I'd imagine they "persecute" (not the right word, btw) you because their consciences are bothering them and they can't stand to see someone not wallowing in moral filth.

Also, get involved with some real friends, especially other unmarried male Catholics who are also committed to living out the Church's sexual teachings.

God bless.

[/quote]

Sometimes it isn't what you say, it's how you say it. The OP didn't say how these discussions start.


#17

There is a class of people that because of their own upbringing and experience and that of their peer group (of immoral clods), they believe that everyone adult having sex with someone.
If they see you with a woman, they decide you are having sex with her. If they only see you with one of your buddies, then you are having sex with him. Oh and guess what if you spend weekends with your little nieces and nephews. This is the hypersexualized class of an already hypersexualized culture.

As far as handling people like that, there is no need to announce your chastity values if you don't want to. You can simply say "That is none of anyone's business."


#18

[quote="KendraDZ1902, post:16, topic:338700"]
Sometimes it isn't what you say, it's how you say it. The OP didn't say how these discussions start.

[/quote]

However the conversation might start, the OP is being urged by his friends to have sex outside of the sacrament of marriage, which is gravely sinful. Most of the previous posters are recommending silence on his part, that he should leave it unstated that he, presumably a known Catholic, is following the teachings of his Church. That seems absurd. Why should the lone person in the group acting morally be the one who must be silent?


#19

[quote="PietroPaolo, post:18, topic:338700"]
However the conversation might start, the OP is being urged by his friends to have sex outside of the sacrament of marriage, which is gravely sinful. Most of the previous posters are recommending silence on his part, that he should leave it unstated that he, presumably a known Catholic, is following the teachings of his Church. That seems absurd. Why should the lone person in the group acting morally be the one who must be silent?

[/quote]

This - yes, Pietro. I so agree with you. Don't you all remember how much discussion/focus centers on sex/the opposite sex (I suppose SSA too these days) with young adults? I am impressed the OP is willing to go all counter-cultural in his beliefs and Catholic practices. I am sure a good number of his friends are relieved to hear that not everyone behaves like drunken bunnies - they are just not so willing to admit their modesty. And I also disagree with some of the others who don't believe you are being persecuted. Clearly its not to the same degree as those who give their lives for Christ, but in our politically correct society, it takes courage, energy and conviction to speak up and go against the flow.


#20

[quote="wendiek, post:19, topic:338700"]
This - yes, Pietro. I so agree with you. Don't you all remember how much discussion/focus centers on sex/the opposite sex (I suppose SSA too these days) with young adults? I am impressed the OP is willing to go all counter-cultural in his beliefs and Catholic practices. I am sure a good number of his friends are relieved to hear that not everyone behaves like drunken bunnies - they are just not so willing to admit their modesty. And I also disagree with some of the others who don't believe you are being persecuted. Clearly its not to the same degree as those who give their lives for Christ, but in our politically correct society, it takes courage, energy and conviction to speak up and go against the flow.

[/quote]

Yeah, I'm only a few yrs older than the OP. I'm married so I don't get the "you need to have sex" stuff anymore, but after my third baby just arrived, I now get the "you're done having kids, right?" stuff.


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