Here is my current troubles and the situation that I find my family in. My wife and I have 3 beautiful, healthy children, 7 year old son, (almost) 3 year old daughter and a 6 month old son. My wife stays at home to care for the children while I work full time and wait tables part time to make ends meet. That is where the troubles arise.
A little more background…My wife and I are very devout Catholics, we follow the Church’s teachings and even take a lot of criticism, even from our own families, for our strong stance. We know what we have in our faith and this is very important to us in our lives. It is important that our children grow up in this faith and that they understand how important the Catholic faith is. We send our son to a Catholic school. We do our best to give what we can to church and charities (we could do more, I know). We feel that we live good and holy lives. We know that we fail and that we are not perfect. We do not claim to be the best Catholics around. By many standards we could be doing more, but we try to get involved. Point being we do not take our faith lightly. Faith and family are the 2 most important things in our lives. Onto the problem…
As I mentioned I work 2 jobs just to make ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck. We are fortunate enough to have sold our old house and have money set aside to have a new house built and this is a huge leap of faith for us. We are really going out on a limb for this, but it felt like the time was right and that this is the direction that the Lord was leading us. So we did it and now we continue to get more and more scared about the future. We have been through so many hardships in our lives, my failed marriage (annulled), her problems with her mother, the resistance to our engagement, no support for our wedding, having to pay for the wedding ourselves, seeing others in her family get hand outs and we do not. I know, I know let the pity party begin. It just seems like there is no end in sight. We have credit card debt, debt to family, it is as if we are in a tunnel and cannot see even a bit of light. We just ask ourselves, when do we get our break? My wife and I wonder what we need to do. We feel as if God does not care. Now, having said that, we know that it is not true. We know that He has a plan for us, but week after week and month after month and nothing changes becomes disheartening. I am searching for a different job, but to no avail. I am having no success. It is like our prayers are not getting there. Now we know that it is God’s will not ours, but we find it hard to believe that we are to continue to suffer. We have a lot to be thankful for and I do not mean to make light of that. I know that we are blessed and I count those blessings. It is really hard on me to work 2 jobs and at times not see my children for 2 and 3 days at a time since I am up before them and home after they are in bed. I know that it is tough on my wife as well. Physically and emotionally. She is such a strong woman and I see that everyday, but yet we still struggle. We still hurt. I guess I am just wondering if anyone else has felt this way and what you did to get past it. I need to pray more, I know that. I need to rest more, I know that. It is as if there are not enough hours in the day for everything. Umph! Thanks for letting me get some of this out. It is off the cuff, but it is how I am feeling.