Anyone else's parish not give a flaming hoot whether they live or die?

I will be brief. Received into the Church in December. Was formerly Russian Orthodox. Tried to join all manner of ministries, including Knights of Columbus. No response at all. No welcome nothing. The entire parish wouldn’t give a HOOT if my wife and I dropped dead. Large parish. Very active Knights of Columbus and active ministries.

Is this just a Catholic thing? No fellowship for the new people? What’s going on here? Any new Catholics have trouble adjusting to the fact that parish doesn’t know or care that you exist.?


That is something that the Catholic church needs to work on. Other churches provide a much stronger sense of community. I’m sorry you and your wife are going through that.


I am a convert like yourself. I am sorry you have had such a negative experiance. Are you able to travel to another Parish? What about talking with the Priest?


Thank you very much; I appreciate that.

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I am blessed that my Parish does know I exist. And do notice when I am not around.


Well, the thing is, our parish is really traditional and conservative, which we really like. The priest and liturgical life of the church are wonderful. We are in the Seattle area, and unfortunately there are a lot of churches off the rails here. Not much to choose from.

Yes, that is really what we want. Our former Orthodox community has basically shunned us for leaving the Church. We are on our own with no Church family.

I see. What about talking to your sponsor? How about hosting a get together? Volunteer to be a sponsor?


Be patient. Keep trying, it takes time. Sometimes it is no different than joining a club or starting a new job. At first nobody notices you but in time you make friends, etc. Such is human nature.


Unless I’m mistaken, you raised similar concerns in an earlier thread, and a number of posters offered suggestions to you on how you might take steps to get more involved and make contacts in the church. Did you try any of them? How did they turn out?


Yes. Unfortunately I had been trying all of those suggestions for several months; it was trying everything and getting no response which drove me to that first post, to at least try to find out why this is happening.

The pastor wasn’t able to provide any help? That’s unfortunate.

Well, he tried; he just reiterated a lot of the suggestions we had already tried.

You said the Knights of Columbus are very active. Have you actually, personally, reached out to the Grand Knight? Not an email - an actual face-to-face conversation?

Same with some of the other committees, etc. you might be interested in?


Well, the Grand Knight and I go to different Masses; the parish secretary gave me his number. Several calls, no return. I can only assume they don’t really want new members. Or have a bias against Orthodoxy.

Or just incredibly busy and not great at returning calls.

Maybe go to his Mass for one weekend so you have a chance to meet?


I wouldn’t assume that at all. It wouldn’t even cross my mind (really - how would they even know you were Orthodox? Did you lead with that?) Far more likely that he’s just terrible with returning phone calls, or very busy, or dealing with a personal crisis, or his phone is eating his messages.

It sounds like you know what Mass this Grand Knight person goes to. Why not just show up at that Mass this weekend and pull him aside afterwards? A friendly, “Hi! I’m Joe! I’m a new Catholic and interested in the Knights of Columbus. How can I get involved?” Might make all the difference.


It’s not a Catholic thing in the sense that Catholicism doesn’t teach us not to be welcoming. Maybe it’s just the area you live in?


Churches usually cater to certain groups. Example, many churches have a school for children and a 9am children’s mass. If you think about it. It is difficult to cater to each select group by age, sex, personalities. There is usually a Catholic marriage retreat that you may be able to do. But yes, people live busy lives, balancing their job, kids, errands.

Well, two Grand Knights in other parishes have called these guys, trying to get them to respond. Knights at the State level also tried to get them to contact me. Nothing. What am I to think, when nothing and no one will get this group to respond?

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