Anyone ever have to move away for a job?


#1

Anyone ever have to move away for a job?

How did you feel about moving someplace new?

Was it hard on your family?

I’m seriously thinking about taking a position roughly 3 hours away from my home. It doesn’t seem like much, but I have a close knit family and I think it would be hard to do. Anyone have thoughts on this>?


#2

Three hours?! That’s commuting, not moving. :wink: We made a move from the midwest (Chicago) to the west coast 2 years ago. Kids have adjusted well–we all miss our friends and family but know we haven’t lost them, they’re just not as accessible as they once were. Researching the neighborhood before you buy–and prioritizing that over finding your “dream house” is highly recommended. And always remember…nothing is forever…you can always undo an unpopular or unsuccessful move.


#3

That would not be such a hard adjustment.

We were living in a foreign country and we were homesick for the US. The problem was that we moved back to a different part of the country which was not ‘home’.
This place, Michigan, is one of the worst places in the whole US- Yankee heaven. People aren’t fully human here, at least they don’t know how to behave like human beings. Survival takes up all the time of everyone.

I’ve been here 5 years and I still resent my husband bringing us to this cold swamp with efficient zombies for inhabitants. But we had no immediate other choice of job.

So I continue to blame it on my husband’s career advancement plans which took us to a foreign country and away from Tennessee. But you are not changing cultures in a distance of three hours.
If you were making a change like we did, I would not recommend it. In such a case, be content with your circumstances.


#4

:wave: Hello one fully human Michigander here. While I take exception to your description of the inhabitants of my home state I understand it is difficult to move to an unfamiliar place that doesn’t seem or feel like home. When my hubby was in the Navy we lived in New Jersey for a while. I had a job in retail working in customer service. East coasters are whole different animal. I transferred my job when we moved back home. Oh our lovely Michigan customers are cake walk compared to the aggressiveness I used to deal with.

I’m sorry you’re home sick but we aren’t all bad -really.:slight_smile:


#5

Heh, unless you live in Pennsylvania, where in three hours you might as well be in a different state (central PA is definitely different from Philadelphia, which is different from Pittsburgh, etc).

In general I would agree though, three hours isn’t really that long. There are people who commute that distance everyday (God bless them I would not want to deal with that gas money!!!). It takes adjustment, but it’s manageable.


#6

If I do commit and move, it would be just my significant other and I. But I’m one of those people that has a hard time making friends.


#7

Growing up, my family moved multiple times for my dad’s job. We’ve lived all over the eastern half of the US. My husband and I moved to a new city when we got married this past July. He had grown up in OH, in the same house, surrounded by his relatives (most within a half an hour radius, all within 2 hrs), in a small town moving to a suburb of Chicago where life is completely different. He, too, has a little difficulty making new friends because he is shy and many times has mild social anxiety.

For me, however, this is a way of life. I moved about every 4-5 yrs while growing up and having to make friends. I went to college two states away, not knowing a single person at the school. It was great, but because of my experience, I am able to make friends fairly easily. Plus, we live about an hour from my family, who we see about once a month.

We both started new jobs and my husband has made friends with his co-workers (he’s a teacher), while I (an accountant) have pretty much kept work at work - just b/c of the environment and type of people I work with. We joined a parish about a month after we moved here and have gotten involved that way. Volunteering and getting involved slowly are the easiest way to meet people and make friends. It’s a slow process, but if your significant other is moving with you, you should be good :).

It may be stressful at first, but all change is and change can be a good thing :). It’ll prepare you for more ahead :). God bless!


#8

I am COMPLETELY offended by this!! :mad: I’ve lived in Michigan for most of my life (I’m 41), and I am certainly “fully human”, I and everyone I know are able to “behave like human beings”, and I hardly spend my life worrying about “survival” (and I live four blocks north of Eight Mile just outside of Detroit).

I can understand that you may be unhappy and resentful of your circumstances, but calling names and being outright RUDE is totally unacceptable.

Grow up. Be grateful that your husband has job, and offer some constructive comments, and not just bash a place and its people because of YOUR unhappiness. I feel horrible for your husband for being resented by his own wife. How guilty he must feel about ruining your life by providing for your family. :mad:

Anyway - to the OP…

Living away from home for work is difficult. I had to travel for business for 5.5 months, living in corporate condos in Delaware and Ohio. It was totally miserable for me being away from my fiance at the time. I realize that three hours may not seem like much to some, but to someone who is part of a very close family, it can be a hardship.

Make sure your family understands why you are doing this, and ensure you have their support for your decision. If everyone is on common ground and understands why you want to make this move and why it would be good for you (for whatever reasons) then it will make it much easier on everyone concerned.

Best of luck to you - making a major move in your life is never easy - whether it be across town or over an ocean.

~Liza


#9

I too come from a close knit family!

My spouse & I moved 10 hours away from our “hometown” over five years ago. It has definetly been a transition & both my husband & I get homesick from our familiar surroundings. While I love this beautiful state we live in & all of it has to offer, I miss the close-knit community we came from & I want the same for my children.

When I was a child we moved constantly & we always ended up back in our hometown. Always. I attended 13 different schools & I was constantly making new friends & a year later telling them goodbye! It stunk!

The biggest challenge for us has been the last 2 to 3 years. We met some great people when we moved here 5 years ago & they have all picked up & moved away (some have divorced) so now our closest friends are 3 hours away.

My mother lives close by, but she is homesick too. She does not admit it, but we all know she is!

Good luck in your decision. :wink:


#10

You can stay closer to your family even if you move than in years past thanks to computers with video and cell phones with free long distance (if that even applied only 3 hours away). I currently live 3 hours from my parents and sisters but at least a full day’s drive from the next closest relative. We call, email and generally stay in touch much easier than in years past, but we know how to make the effort because our extended family is heavily military. We can still call just to say “did you see that on channel x” as if we lived around the block.

You need to evaluate what this new job would mean in the long run for your career and for making a good life for yourself and your immediate family. I had to suck it up and move alone to a state where I knew only one person for law school to better my future. I gave up an established career and seeing close friends and family often because they were a 9 hour drive away. I’m so happy now that I made the sacrifice in the short term to better my future. I made friends and built a life while I was there, but I won’t lie to you and say that it was not hard at times.

Honestly, 3 hours is such a short drive that you could go home to visit on a weekend and still get there for breakfast by merely getting up early. Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back in life. You will have your spouse with you to share the journey! I would encourage you to branch out and join something at your new parish to meet folks rather than driving home every weekend and holding too tightly to your old life.

May God grant you peace in your decision!


#11

[quote=Leeta]This place, Michigan, is one of the worst places in the whole US- Yankee heaven. People aren’t fully human here, at least they don’t know how to behave like human beings. Survival takes up all the time of everyone.

So I continue to blame it on my husband’s career advancement plans which took us to a foreign country and away from Tennessee. But you are not changing cultures in a distance of three hours.
[/quote]

:tsktsk: :nope: :tsktsk:

I moved from up north - Yankee heaven, down into the deep South. You are right, moving that far you are changing cultures. It is like moving to a foreign country. But to talk about a group of people the way that you do, is uncalled for.

The fact that you have lived in a new place for 5 years with that attitude tells me that no matter where you are, it wouldn’t be home unless it was Tennessee. Sorry that you blame your husband for your inability to adapt.

Yes, the South is very different from the North. Each is better in its own way. As I told my husband, when we had to move for his job, “home is where he is.”

To the op, three hours, unless it is PA, is nothing. Yes, I have lived in PA, and THutch04 is right. But, most places you will not find a big difference in culture. And with it only being three hours, you can be home for all the holidays and weekends if you want.


#12

well it is home for me, born and bred in the blackswamp area of N Oakland Cty., and I really miss it, especially in the summer. We must not know the same people, sorry you are having a bad time. Everyplace is homeplace to someone.

yes, we had to move several times for work, once to Detroit and once back to Ohio, plus a couple of other moves. all were financially draining and emotionally stressful on the whole family, but all ultimately led to improved circumstances, more opportunities, more friendships, lots of positive things, for us and for the kids.

the first move, which I strenuously opposed, because of the reason for it, I simply accepted as my husband’s decision on what was best for the family, and made a determined conscious effort to seek and find the best in it, to present a united front for the kids’ sakes, to actively seek new friendships, opportunties etc. and I was never sorry for it. Great things happened through that move that were life changing, first in threatening ways, but which later proved to be wonderful.


#13

We moved a number of times for business and the first move from home, I thought I was going to die, having all the care of the children with no grandparents to count on. But I lived thru it and am the better for it. We met wonderful people everywhere we lived and still keep in touch with many of them. And it brought my husband and I closer together. It was a good thing.


#14

Our families for the most part are in central and southern IN. We moved to MI for grad school (I like MI a lot and miss it as much as I do hometown IN, it has better food!!! lol) and then to MN for a real job. We are now 14 hours away from our families which is difficult, but we manage. We travel to IN and visit over the summer and grandparents visit whenever they can. We keep in contact via email, snail mail and phone calls. Really, 3 hours is nothing. I truly miss the 6 hour drive that we used to have from MI to IN. 14 hours is so long for the children–it takes us 2 days which means hotels, it’s becoming cost prohibitive.

Moving will mean you will have to learn to make new friends and learn a new area. As a couple it would be a great adventure, depending on how you look at it. If you make it positive, then it will be.

God bless!

Jennifer


#15

My, how timely. I’m mulling over an opportunity right now to move 1,000 miles away. Most people pay big bucks to vacation in this destination and can’t stay. I’m being offered a large raise and promotion to do it. Yet, I’m not sure I want to do it. My wife is very introverted and is scared to death of moving to a new place (which would have to happen shortly after our newest baby arrives!). I might have to turn it down if she can’t overcome the anxiety. Major stressful decision!


#16

Have I had to move for a job? Only 6 times in the last 8yrs…LOL – military. It gets easier with experience. We’re only here now for a year, so I’m limiting myself as far as “attachment” – never had grandparents nearby, have never had anyone but ourselves to rely on really – and the friends we’ve made. We’re better off for it, and so are the kids, hard as the leaving part may be


#17

I moved from SC Pennsylvania - think lots of farms - to Arizona - Hellishly HOT! - by way of Houston,Texas - swamp…
Big culture shocks!
It’s been 21 years and I still long for Pennsylvania.


#18

Hi! Being military, we have had to move (and we were not supposed to be active, so this wasn’t really a choice we made, if you know what I mean)…we are from SC and first went to LA, then back to SC, then to Germany, and now in NC. I can say that although it is never a breeze, it is exciting, even for me, an only child from a small Italian family who work and live near each other.

I would say to pray about this and if this is the best thing for you and your family, go for it! Just think of the fun - a new home, new places to shop and eat at, and many new friends to make. At this point, I get bored being anywhere more than 2 years, lol!

We had our first child. and then our second, in Germany (these are the only grands), and I cannot say it was easy, but we opted to go it alone. DH and I have grown together in faith, love, and friendship since beginning our moving around…it really is a growing experience and a bonding experience to go through this time with the person/people you love!

Let me also add that growing up we moved from Amish country, PA to Charleston, SC - CULTURE SHOCK!! We moved about 4 times growing up for my Dad’s non-military career, and I can honestly say that as a child (age 7 through 13 is the period of our moves), it may not have been easy those first days of school, but I came to be a more independent, less peer-pressure driven kid, and much closer with my parents.

Good luck with your decision!
Tina


#19

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