I guess I should of said, “Could never find the yes” which is essentially saying no. I heard/felt a voice at a retreat when I was 25 ask me “why not you?” as I was praying for more vocations for the Church. It had never, ever, not ever crossed my mind to be a religious. I was set on marriage and motherhood. I did try and be open to discerning it, visiting many orders over the years. I also dated, with many broken relationships. I discovered many things along the path, grew in my faith, found some healing, I just couldn’t ever surrender all and enter religious life. I finally married at 40. I now deal with a lot of guilt and fear. It doesn’t look like we will be able to have children, which makes me feel as if God is not blessing our marriage because it wasn’t supposed to be my vocation(?). I feel so tormented. Prayers for peace would be approeciated, as well as any advice.
Blessings in Jesus through Mary.