I’m 22 years old.
I’m being called to be a monk.
At first I thought my calling was just a wake up call, but I prayed to God to reveal if it really is a calling to a religious vocation.
Which he did. I was never religious. Never thought to myself that I would be religious. Now I’m am trying to almost everything in my power to do his will.
I feel more depressed than I have ever felt. I feel more stressed than I have ever felt. I feel more unhappy than I have ever felt. I want to obey God’s calling, but most of the time I just want to be happy. And I can tell you right now. I am not…
I don’t know what I’m really asking. I just feel guilty if I say no to God, and enjoy life the way I want to.
I hate the fact that I found my faith.
The only reason I gained faith is because of demonic possession that a family member experienced. Which to me does not make sense because If it is really the intention for a demon to not do the will of God. Then they would work behind the scenes, and not let themselves be detected. Yet they have not, and I have gained faith because of it.