About a month ago i talked in a little bit of a disrespectful way to my dad, i didn’t say sorry right away, i think i just changed the way i was talking. is it ok to just act extra nice and wait till a good importunity to say i’m sorry? i think it would be really awkward just to come out and say it. i’m scrupulous, and this is giving a good amount of anxiety, any advice welcome. thanks!
I think acting extra nice to your parents is always good. But don’t worry about being awkward. He’s your father and he loves you. He won’t be all like “uhm why is she apologizing to me right now geeez weirdo!” Most likely he’ll be thrilled to hear your apology, even of nowhere- not because he’s mad, but because he’ll probably be proud of you for admitting you were wrong to do that.
Here’s an example of what happened to me (its certainly not the same situation considering I’m an 18 year old girl and it involved a boy I liked) : I was talking to this boy online for the first time in like forever. We had almost had a thing like a year and a half before, but nothing ended up happening and he went to Iceland for foreign exchange the next year. Anyway, all of a sudden when we were chatting about something completely different, he goes " Hey, I’m sorry about that time when I held your hand and then never did anything about it." Needless to say I said it was fine and I thought he was the sweetest thing ever for apologizing for something that happened so long ago.
So I think you’ll be fine just apologizing the next time he’s calm and there aren’t a bunch of people around. I’m sure he’ll forgive you and he’ll probably be pleasantly surprised.
I believe if an apology is warranted then do so. Parents are used to their teens being a bit or a lot disrespectful at times. My teen daughter does it, and later on I often get a text message saying she's sorry, or a hug and a sorry and a love you.
Apologies generally close the gap not widen it. And parents appreciate it even if it is a month or years later.
I have to commend your conscience, CC. Good for you.
My middle son who is now nearly 21, has always had the most volatile temperament and a sharp way with words. However, his saving grace is the ability to apologise as soon as he feels the remorse. That has always touched my heart deeply and healed any rift. I immensely admire the humility and courage it takes a person to apologise expediently. I don’t think it’s necessary to wait and I don’t think it needs to be a long drawn out thing, at least in my experience. The two words themselves cover the wound completely.
My advice is to just go right up to your dad and apologize.
You’ll settle your conscience and relieve your anxiety about this issue.
You clearly feel he’s owed an apology, so just come right out an apologize.
You will both feel great afterward.