Apology to stay-at-home mothers


#1

I made some comments in the past that put down stay at home mothers and made it seem that I didn’t think they were contributing to society as much as working mothers.

I realize that I was very wrong to make those comments and I want to apologize to people who were offended by my statments. I realize that mothers (and fathers) who take the time to raise their children make a more significant contribution to society than they would if they took that time to earn additional money. (I would still make an exception for find-the-cure-for-cancer type of people, but they are extremely rare anyway.)

So I am very sorry to everyone who was offended.


#2

Thank-you, Hermione.


#3

Thank you. I consider my job with my kids the most important that I could do. It is my vocation.


#4

Of all the things i’ve struggled with since converting to Catholicism, I think this was the hardest for me. It took a long time and much prayer for me to see that despite what our society tells us, stay-at-home moms have a lot to be proud of. Now I’m praying and hoping that my fiance and I will be priviledged enough to have me stay-at-home and homeschool. God Bless you Hermione. I’m sure you’ve made the day for many forum dwellers.


#5

Thank you, I worked full time before I had children and I plan to work part time once they are all in school full time as I want to help put away for college, weddings etc.
Being a stay at home mom is the most awesome job, I feel very bad for my cousins who have to work full time both dad/mom after they almost lost their baby and he was born so early and now they don’t think they can get pregnant again, the mom feels just depressed because they need her income but she wants to be with her baby more and misses him so bad during the day, I feel for both sides of the coin, it can be a tough decison no matter what you decide, I respect both stay at home moms and working moms and I really hope that we can all support eachother because we are all moms no matter what and we should try to help and support eachother, thanks hermoine for posting, that was really so nice of you, God bless you!!! :thumbsup:


#6

I grew up in the 60’s and wanted to be a career woman. I wanted to be Mary Richards from the Mary Tyler Moore show. When I looked at the stay at home moms in my neighborhood, I looked down on them. They dressed frumpy, didn’t wear makeup, were boring,…My mother in law was the worst of all. She did NOTHING to help her husband financially. All she cared about was a clean house. Even the kids were secondary to maintaining her Suzy Homemaker image.

Then I had my first child. I tried to have it all career and family. I was able to DO it. But my heart was no longer in it. I realized that I had been lied to all my life by the feminists. Why couldn’t women be women? Why did we have to act like we were men?

The maternal part of me wanted to stay at home. Finally, I put my career on hold and worked only part time (every other weekend) in a job lower in status. Instantly, our family life was so much better! The only thing hard about it was money of course.

But we have our whole lives to work, especially if Social Security goes bankrupt. So what does it hurt to drop out of the job market for a several years?

It makes me sad now, because when women get pregnant they are no longer asked “Are you going to keep working or be a stay at home mom?” Instead they are asked “How long are you going to take for your maternity leave?” There seems to be no reflection or choice anymore.

So I too have changed my attitude from my life experience.

It makes me think of Mother Angelica. When she was a child, hated the nuns. And here she ended up a nun. She said to be careful what you tell God what you are not going to do. Because that’s what He’ll have you doing. The same was true for me. And guess what? He really does know best. I couldn’t be happier.

But because of our utilitarian society, sometimes I feel guilty being at home.

Mary


#7

I don’t think any of us moms knew how hard our job would be when we started out having children. I don’t look down on those that don’t stay at home but I will say I have done all forms of it and staying home full time with children, athough very important is very hard. Often it is thankless, and thanks to working society it can often be lonely too.

Hermoine, what changed your mind? Just wondering.


#8

I deeply respect stay-at-home moms. I respect working mothers as well. I myself am I working mother, but I’m being ‘called’ to be a stay-at-home mom. Which I really want to do and really think that God wants me to do.

The unfortunate part, we recently bought a house (Nov 2003) and our mortgage is 1,000 dollars a month! I have told my husband I am willing to move and make many sacrifices to do what God wants me to do.
I also feel he is calling me to homeschool. (my kids are 2 and 5 months)
My husband wants me to wait and let him find a better job. Which is fine because due to health I MUST have health insurance, and currently my job has the health insurance.
So KUDOS to all the wonderful women who do what they must to raise there family.
Stayathome moms/dads keep up the good work
Working parents keep up the good work.
Just make sure you enjoy your children. If for some reason you aren’t enjoying your kids/family then maybe you need to rethink the position you are in.


#9

[quote=AmberDale]I deeply respect stay-at-home moms. I respect working mothers as well. I myself am I working mother, but I’m being ‘called’ to be a stay-at-home mom. Which I really want to do and really think that God wants me to do.

The unfortunate part, we recently bought a house (Nov 2003) and our mortgage is 1,000 dollars a month! I have told my husband I am willing to move and make many sacrifices to do what God wants me to do.
I also feel he is calling me to homeschool. (my kids are 2 and 5 months)
My husband wants me to wait and let him find a better job. Which is fine because due to health I MUST have health insurance, and currently my job has the health insurance.
So KUDOS to all the wonderful women who do what they must to raise there family.
Stayathome moms/dads keep up the good work
Working parents keep up the good work.
Just make sure you enjoy your children. If for some reason you aren’t enjoying your kids/family then maybe you need to rethink the position you are in.
[/quote]

I hope and pray that for your sake you can work it out. I know insurance drives many decisions and I respect that. I have stayed home and I have worked full time and part time. Currently my oldest three are out of the home and I have one in High school. I work part time. I know I give up some things to be around home more, but I like it this way. I don’t think that we are meant to have all the latest and newest gadgets.

I agree with you. We must do what it takes to raise our children, love them, and keep the family together. Keep it up and God bless you.


#10

[quote=Fitz]Hermoine, what changed your mind? Just wondering.
[/quote]

I think mostly it was because I became a little more free from the feminist brainwashing I had most of my life. I had this image of working women doing great things like finding cures for cancer and religious fundamentalists trying to keep them locked up in the home doing chores.

But then I thought about it and realized that very few people, men or women, do things like find cures for cancer, and that most people work ordinary jobs just to survive.

Raising children well, something that’s pretty much impossible to do unless the parents are actually there raising them, is a far greater contribution to society than an ordinary job that earns a paycheck.

I had it wrong! Instead of saying that women should focus more on work, I should have been saying that men should focus more on their families.


#11

Thank you for your comment, Hermione. Very insightful. God Bless.


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