Applying for an annulment, still have stuff from the wedding


#1

I am applying for an annulment, although the paperwork hasnt been submitted yet, I am trying to get the witnesses still. I've tried multiples times before to reconcile, but to my wife has told me that since we have been divorced, she doesnt feel that she is married to me anymore. So, I talked to my parish priest and talked to him about the annulment and discerning a vocational call that I have.

I don't know what to do with the things I have left over from my wedding from 8 years ago. I still have the wedding dress, the bouquet, the blessed candle, and of course wedding pictures.

I dont mind donating these things; the candle im keeping since it is blessed. I was just thinking. If my annulement does go through, and my calling to a vocation is fulfilled, what about the pictures? I still have the wedding rings, but I'm planning on making a new ring out of it, someone has a picture of a ring on the forum, I don't remember who, but it has a Cross, an M, with a chain around it, I liked it alot.

Any suggestions are really appreciated.


#2

ask your ex wife what she wants you to do with the wedding dress and the boquet.

if the annulment is granted, ask your parents or closest sibling to keep the photos for you. if you married in goodwill and with every expectation you had a sacramental marriage, those photos represent grace-- not the grace of a life-long marriage, as you were hoping and praying for, but the grace of mercy and healing and freedom to choose a sacramental vocation as a wiser (and hopefully holier) man.


#3

I think the poster ahead of me has some very wise ideas.

My marriage ended and was anulled many years ago, and I have some of these same issues, even 20 years later. I am down-sizing dramatically and have found a stash of things from the marriage that wasn’t. Some I have set aside for the children (all adults now) and some I have had to burn. At least the wedding dress was only borrowed.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.


#4

[quote="rivera01, post:1, topic:242603"]
I am applying for an annulment, although the paperwork hasnt been submitted yet, I am trying to get the witnesses still. I've tried multiples times before to reconcile, but to my wife has told me that since we have been divorced, she doesnt feel that she is married to me anymore. So, I talked to my parish priest and talked to him about the annulment and discerning a vocational call that I have.

I don't know what to do with the things I have left over from my wedding from 8 years ago. I still have the wedding dress, the bouquet, the blessed candle, and of course wedding pictures.

I dont mind donating these things; the candle im keeping since it is blessed. I was just thinking. If my annulement does go through, and my calling to a vocation is fulfilled, what about the pictures? I still have the wedding rings, but I'm planning on making a new ring out of it, someone has a picture of a ring on the forum, I don't remember who, but it has a Cross, an M, with a chain around it, I liked it alot.

Any suggestions are really appreciated.

[/quote]

I believe you have gotten good advice. The only thing I am puzzled about is that you are waiting for your annulment to go through before your calling to a vocation is fulfilled? You are civilly divorced, and if you remain single and celibate can you not pursue a vocation even if you do not get an annulment?


#5

[quote="Dorothy, post:4, topic:242603"]
I believe you have gotten good advice. The only thing I am puzzled about is that you are waiting for your annulment to go through before your calling to a vocation is fulfilled? You are civilly divorced, and if you remain single and celibate can you not pursue a vocation even if you do not get an annulment?

[/quote]

I'm not sure whether one can become a priest if he doesn't get the annulment, however I think it would be good to do so even if it wasn't required.


#6

Yes, that is true. It gives closure.


#7

[quote="Dorothy, post:4, topic:242603"]
The only thing I am puzzled about is that you are waiting for your annulment to go through before your calling to a vocation is fulfilled? You are civilly divorced, and if you remain single and celibate can you not pursue a vocation even if you do not get an annulment?

[/quote]

If the OP is referring to religious life or priesthood, the answer is typically no. Marriage is a canonical impediment to either state, and unless a decree of nullity has been granted the marriage is, of course, not dissolved.

This impediment can be dispensed in some cases, but rarely is (the priests who have converted from the Anglican and Lutheran churches and who are married are an exception to this given their special circumstances).

There are also some religious institutes who have stricter constitutions than those required by universal law and who will not even accept candidates who have received a declaration of nullity, but this isn't typical: I know of several religious who attempted marriage in their former lives but whose marriages were later considered to have been invalid, thereby freeing them to apply for admission to a religious institute.


#8

[quote="Ocarm, post:7, topic:242603"]
If the OP is referring to religious life or priesthood, the answer is typically no. Marriage is a canonical impediment to either state, and unless a decree of nullity has been granted the marriage is, of course, not dissolved.

This impediment can be dispensed in some cases, but rarely is (the priests who have converted from the Anglican and Lutheran churches and who are married are an exception to this given their special circumstances).

There are also some religious institutes who have stricter constitutions than those required by universal law and who will not even accept candidates who have received a declaration of nullity, but this isn't typical: I know of several religious who attempted marriage in their former lives but whose marriages were later considered to have been invalid, thereby freeing them to apply for admission to a religious institute.

[/quote]

Thank you for the clarification.


#9

Thank you all for your advice. As far as the dress and the bouquet is concerned, I got a pretty good feeling she isn't going to want it. May be she may know someone who is going to get married. As far as the pictures are concerned, I agree with monicatholic, since this my concern. I talked to my pastor, and he has told me that he does see that I have a vocation, but is encouraging me to get an annulment first, and go through the diaconate formation and later on become a priest when my youngest becomes of legal age.

Although I would love to become a priest right away, I think it would be wiser for me to become a deacon first, since I have 3 children with my ex. I talked to the vocations director in my diocese and he has informed me that if I get an annulment, I may be able to pursue the priesthood.


#10

[quote="rivera01, post:9, topic:242603"]
T

Although I would love to become a priest right away, I think it would be wiser for me to become a deacon first, since I have 3 children with my ex. I talked to the vocations director in my diocese and he has informed me that if I get an annulment, I may be able to pursue the priesthood.

[/quote]

if you are still responsible for minor children you are not a candidate for priesthood at this time. give the things back to your ex. keep some pictures that your children might want someday and give the rest back to her.


#11

Yes, I completely agree. I am not neglecting this fact, nor am I using the Church to run away from this responsibility. This is why I would like to pursue the diaconate first. I love my children and would not dare to hurt them in anyway. As I mentioned, I would love to become a priest right away, but I also know my responsibilities at the moment.


#12

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