Appropriateness of attending wedding


#1

I'm asking for advice. Should I attend this wedding?

The background is:

The bride is my sister, born Catholic, now Protestant. She is once divorced, married about 20 years and divorce finalized 8 years ago.

The groom is twice divorced.

He dated my sister around 30 years ago. They dated about 2 years. He was going through his first divorce at that time. At the end of the 2 year relationship, my sister found out he had 2 other girlfriends at the same time. He married one of the girlfriends about 1 year after my sister and he broke up. He and his second wife have 2 college-age children. He reconnected with my sister about 3 years ago through Facebook while he was still married to his second wife. They began a long distance relationship, talking to each other on the phone every day and traveling around the country to meet each other. His wife found out and filed for a divorce about 1 year after my sister and he started seeing each other. His divorce was finalized 5 months ago, and now he is engaged to my sister.

They both consider themselves to be upstanding, Bible believing Christians, following the Holy Spirit.

Catholics out there, what do you think? Would you attend?


#2

[quote="MauraF, post:1, topic:323931"]
I'm asking for advice. Should I attend this wedding?

The background is:

The bride is my sister, born Catholic, now Protestant. She is once divorced, married about 20 years and divorce finalized 8 years ago.

The groom is twice divorced.

He dated my sister around 30 years ago. They dated about 2 years. He was going through his first divorce at that time. At the end of the 2 year relationship, my sister found out he had 2 other girlfriends at the same time. He married one of the girlfriends about 1 year after my sister and he broke up. He and his second wife have 2 college-age children. He reconnected with my sister about 3 years ago through Facebook while he was still married to his second wife. They began a long distance relationship, talking to each other on the phone every day and traveling around the country to meet each other. His wife found out and filed for a divorce about 1 year after my sister and he started seeing each other. His divorce was finalized 5 months ago, and now he is engaged to my sister.

They both consider themselves to be upstanding, Bible believing Christians, following the Holy Spirit.

Catholics out there, what do you think? Would you attend?

[/quote]

Please see the apologist answers here:

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=768173

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=167154

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=64951


#3

The fact that he is a serial adulterer should sent up major red flags. Unfortunately, she is allowing herself to be strung along by her emotions.

Personally, I would be less concerned about the appropriateness of attending the wedding and more concerned that she and her prospective husband start relationship counseling beforehand. Both times he dated her, it was while he was already married to someone else. The previous time, it is known he had other girlfriends. How many others does he have this time? Is he even capable of a committed relationship?


#4

[quote="SonCatcher, post:3, topic:323931"]
The fact that he is a serial adulterer should sent up major red flags. Unfortunately, she is allowing herself to be strung along by her emotions.

Personally, I would be less concerned about the appropriateness of attending the wedding and more concerned that she and her prospective husband start relationship counseling beforehand. Both times he dated her, it was while he was already married to someone else. The previous time, it is known he had other girlfriends. How many others does he have this time? Is he even capable of a committed relationship?

[/quote]

       Very Well said,,,,,,, advise her the best you can that Counselling is a good start.

#5

Oh Good Lord! Wow... what a situation! I agree with the other two posts.... Ever heard of Player?! He's got her wrapped around his little finger! It's quite obviously it's completely a emotional and chemistry relationship not a relationship built on any kind of trust, truth or loyalty of any kind. I think she's setting herself up for more hurt and disappointment especially since his track record clearly shows that not only did he cheat on his wife the both time they dated ...why would this time be any different? Adultery is a major sin by the way so counseling especially with a priest (confession is necessary in order to go through with the sacrament of marriage). Attending the marriage is the least of your worries, hopefully she is able to use her reason more than her emotions before going through with this engagement.

Good luck! :)


#6

I know, it's pretty unbelievable, isn't it. Love is blind. She said he has changed because he found religion. I don't think Protestants take sin seriously. Neither do a lot of Catholics for that matter. I am hoping the marriage never happens, and I don't have to make the decision. Also, they might not invite me because I told her what I thought about it. I don't think I would attend the wedding if I am invited because I am ashamed to be associated with them, and I have sympathy for his ex-wife and kids.


#7

She's your sister. IDK, to me if it's a close family member, I would feel obliged to attend either way. In your heart you don't have to accept it as a true marriage, but you still need to be there for your family. I guess every family situation is different though. At least that's how I feel.


#8

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