My son is Catholic and his wife is not. She was baptized into her church and she wants their new born to be baptized there also. For some reason my son heard that you can get baptized in to her church and it would be the same as being baptized in the Catholic church; just as long as he is baptized with water. He heard that all Christian baptisms are alike and you can pick and choose either of the church’s with this baptism. I was always taught and believe that you must be baptized Catholic to be Catholic, can you help me out?
In this situation there seems to be legitimate information being misunderstood. Yes, water baptism in the name of the Trinity is valid baptism and there are not degrees of valid baptism. Either baptism is valid or it is not. However, being baptized in a particular church or faith community generally makes you a member of that church/community. If the child is baptized in a non-Catholic faith then the child will not be considered Catholic. And anyone baptized in the Catholic Church is automatically considered Catholic.
If your daughter-in-law belongs to a faith community that does not believe in the Trinity or baptize in its name, then the baptism would not be valid.
If you son and his wife were married in the Catholic Church then he made a promise to raise any children of the marriage as Catholics, and she was made aware of that promise. To baptize their child(ren) outside the Catholic Church would contradict that promise.