Sometimes I want to talk about something but I don’t have it clearly in my mind. In those cases, I am really looking for collaboration. Sometimes it hard to describe an idea. I really need someone to try to understand and help me grasp and comprehend instead of looking for a way to refute me before my idea is even laid out.
I think “heated debate” bordering on trying to win an argument is an approach that is “drilled in” for a lot of people. So when I am trying to grasp at something, instead of collaboration, I talking to “an opponent”. In the past, even very recently, I was more prone to this approach to conversation. Make my “points”. So, I wonder if sometimes, unless you lay it out very precisely, people see the incompleteness of the idea as a way to refute it and are not actually very helpful.
These days, I am getting more and more inclined to just learning and exploring ideas. When I get to that point where I am going to attack the intelligence or character of someone for something they wrote, if I do it, even if it seems valid, I don’t walk away with a good feeling about it.
I need a better tact for conversation, especially online conversation. Less argumentative, more exploratory. More patient for mistakes instead of being inclined to point out inconsistencies, logic errors, or things in the nature of a mistake for gaining advantage. I think so many people are trying to point out something dumb and sound like an expert it actually obstructs progress. I think that idea that there is an audience to be swayed or convinced is a factor.
Just thoughts. I make no claim that I have not been a part of this problem.