I think it depends on the retreat, and how receptive you are.
I did Christ Renews His Parish for awhile, and it was a great, thought transitory, experience for me. I’d recommend it to anyone; with the caveat that what was worthwhile was the fellowship of being on a team to plan the next retreat. If it was just the retreat itself it wouldn’t move the needle much.
In some regions besides offering overnight “residential” retreats they also offer non-residential weekend retreats where the couples go home after the all-day session and return to the retreat the next morning. It might be easier for your husband to attend one of these non–residential retreats.
All you need to do is make the commitment to do it. Struggling with which retreat to do, what happens in a retreat, what is the structure, will I get a schedule, is basically procrastination. Don’t worry about which retreat house or which spirituality the order is. Many monasteries offer rooms for retreatents. You could even rent a hotel room in a city near a church you like and do a personal retreat that way. God is calling you to do a retreat, respond to his call and do one. Trust God to have your best interest in mind.
I probably have a rather unpopular opinion on here, but I’m of the thought that retreats are a load of codswallop. In my experience (both personally and my observation of others), they produce a fleeting “spiritual high” that goes away within a couple weeks of being back, and can even leave people worse off than where they started (think “hippie”).
Of course, I know there are certainly exceptions to the rule, but that is my two cents.
It all depends on what you mean by retreat, and different people respond better to different things. I don’t mind a directed retreat, but usually when I go on retreat I use it as a week of decompression time. A few weeks ago, I spent five days at a retreat center for priests, praying, saying private masses, and reading. A seminary classmate of mine happened to be there too, so I spent a lot of time hanging out with him. It was a good and restorative time. Some people want no social interaction on a retreat. Some people need a speaker guiding them. As with all things in the spiritual life, mileage may vary and there’s no “one size fits all” approach.
The content of what actually transpires at an ACTs retreat seems secretive to me.
I understand that those attending the retreat are bussed to a location. Once there they are asked to give up with watch and cell phones.
Why not just hold the retreat at a local area. And allow those in attendance to merely put their time pieces away and to power down their cell phones?
One of the reasons for this is to make a complete disconnect from the outside world during the time of the retreat. If participants were asked to turn off their cell phones, how many do you think would turn them on at some point to check in with the world?
I don’t know about the busing thing, that doesn’t happen at Cursillo. Cursillos are most often held at parish halls or retreat centers and participants are either dropped off or drive themselves. No secrecy to the location. For Cursillo we ask that participants just not bring electronics or watches, if they do, the team will store them safely.
I believe most people are mature enough to turn off their phones and to leave them off. They need not be confiscated.
The whole point to a retreat would be to focus on the retreat. Why would anyone sneak their phone out to see what is going in outside of the retreat?
To me, it seems like a “control thing.” We will tell retreatants when to do this and when to do that.
You & I will never agree on this. You set your mind against the concept of these types of retreats, mainly based on the opinions of people who have never been on them. You dismiss the opinions of those who have been to these types of retreats.
If you want to do a retreat, do a retreat, whatever retreat you want.
One would think all adults attending Mass would be mature enough to turn off or silence their cell phones before entering the church, or at the very least silence them when they’re reminded right before the start of Mass to do so.
The reality is that is not the case.
And at a directed retreat, of course the retreat team will direct the participants in what to do and when to do it. If one has a problem with having others telling them what to do and when to do it, then that person will probably had great difficulties in some of the more directed retreats.
(And honestly, that person might also have difficulties in following the direction that God wants that person to take in their lives. Letting go and not trying to be always in control of one’s life, so one can say yes to God and His directives is a very good way to increase one’s holiness.)