[quote="Incomplete, post:2, topic:225376"]
When I deal with people in my life who are deliberately nasty, there are two things that sometimes work for me. (And let me add, the key word is "sometimes". I often fail miserably.)
First, I remember that it is just these people who can help me to grow in holiness.
Second, I realize that these people are completely miserable inside, no matter how it looks. I am grateful not to be them. I can get away from people like that to some degree (some are related, so not completely by any means) but they can't get away from themselves. They live in those bodies and minds and often don't even have the insight to know how miserable they make themselves.
Actually, there's a third option, too, You can go to confession (or meet with your priest in a a private appointment if you have a priest you trust; I've done both.) I've received excellent advice from my priest on ways to deal with this stuff. It's still a slow process, but it's a start.
Remember that saints are made from trials, and your mom is a blessing in her opportunity for you.
Remember to pray for her, even if you feel no love. Pray for God to fill you with love as well. You may have ample reason to dislike her, but Satan thrives on that kind of thing. If you can learn to love her despite all of it, you will be on the way to sainthood yourself.
I don't know of any saints to recommend, but hopefully somebody else here will. You have a good head on your shoulders to look to the saints.
But how do I love someone that has no lovable features? The only thing about her that could be considered "Christ-like" is the fact that she has human DNA and body parts. That's my problem. I look for something to love but everywhere I look she's only an empty void in the shape of humanity.
And I'm terrified of her. Before I cut her out of my life there was this cycle where she would do terrible things to me and then she would manipulate me into forgiving her... and the cycle would start all over again. Just the thought of opening even the smallest part of myself to her fills me with absolute terror and dread. If I let even the tiniest part of her into my heart that gives her ownership of me again.