I recently became friends with a guy I went to high school with. He just graduated high school. I have been in college for a year now. He started going to a bible study my family was conducting and revealed to us that his parents are abusive. He has just turned 18 and wants to move out of his house. So naturally my family welcomed him with open arms. A moving date has been set. However, between then and now, we have developed an intimate relationship. I have prayed a lot about this and I know that this is a relationship God wants me to be in. The question is, would it be okay for us to live in the same residence with my parents until he can afford his own place. We have talked about the possible temptations that come with something like this and we have both agreed to do whatever it takes to avoid them, if that means treating one another like we are brother and sister then so be it. I don’t want him to be hurting anymore and we have exhausted every other option to find somewhere for him to live. We haven’t even told my parents we’re together for fear of what might happen, so I’m just looking for some guidance. Would this situation be an exception to the rule, or should he keep on living in an abusive environment until we can find something else? I don’t know what to do at this point.
Let’s be honest. If you really think that your attraction for each other is truly from God, then why are you hiding it from your parents? You need to tell your parents. If you don’t tell them, then you are actually lying to them–and not only them, you are lying to yourself as well. Also, I don’t accept that every alternative possibility has been considered. You are in my prayers.
Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.