Are there seminarians / nuns here that have left a "significant other"?

Any stories to share?

Does it ever hurt you / do you ever regret that they could be dating / marrying some other person that should have been you?

How did you reconcile your decision? Do you remain friends?

I can’t speak from experience. In our diocese we had a priest who actually was engaged 3 different times and on the third one the day of his wedding he left his fiance because his calling to the priesthood. He said they were all mad for a while but upon understanding the Truth behind vocations they were all accepting.

I have a story to share to anyone who is interested. I was the “significant other”. I once had a boyfriend many years ago who wanted to become a priest. i didn’t know this upon meeting him, i just knew him as a lovely boy who was kind and thoughtful, shared the same interests and talents like me. Not only was he approachable, he was very supportive and showed great interest in others. and a great listener-- all great qualities for a priest… and husband for that matter!! Our friendship grew and before I knew it I was starting to fall in love with him. We dated for several years but I knew I did not have his heart 100%. One day, he left, to find the life that awaited him. He couldn’t discern his calling properly without giving it an honest go, this meant he had to break up with me and leave. And that’s what he did. It has been years and I have not spoken to him since.
Does it hurt? Of course, very deeply. No matter the situation, no matter how honorable, rejection hurts. Filled with hurt and despair. i cried and cried… For days and days and weeks and months.

To the seminarians/nuns, I too would like to know, what went through your mind when you had to make such a big decision? How is your relationship to your significant other now? Do you keep in contact? Do you still care about them or pray for their wellbeing?

Not exactly to the subject matter, but when I was in my first year of college, I attended a private secular college but resided in a Catholic university dorm. One guy who was there was very outgoing and caring, and I asked him if he wanted to go out.

“I’m a priest,” he said.

I very nearly crouched in the fetal position, so sure I was that a lightning bolt was about to strike.

I saw him later in black suit and collar, and he said, “Do I look a little more priestly now?”

I have been the discerner to tell the guy what I was trying to do in life. I can get confusing for both parties, particularly if there is some attraction.


I’ve never been in that position but we have a priest in our diocese who has been. He was dating a girl for 2 years and was thinking of proposing. However, since his childhood, he felt the call to become a priest. He was scared of making the wrong decision and asked God for an answer. Should he break up and enter the seminary or should he marry his girlfriend? He got his answer the very next day when his girlfriend said she wanted to break up. He contacted the Vocation Director and started the application process! He is now the youngest priest in our diocese and is attending a university in Rome to get his Doctorate in Canon Law! :thumbsup:

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