Are these Detraction? So on the first one we were talking about football and I told him about this one girl in my class that liked Auburn. He asked if she was smart and I either said not really or she is kinda dumb. Then I said for example (then I gave him an example). I didn’t indetify her by name, but my mom was beside me and she may or may not have known who I was talking about. At the time I wasn’t sure if it was mortal or venial. I know some gossip is venial but some is mortal so I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know about Detraction at the time, I’ve read about it from this long list of mortal sins before this happened, but I just forgot about it because the list is big. And the second time was when my mom told me my other relatives where sick and I told her about how they laid in my bed earlier and if that would matter after I said it it hit me that I might have done a Detraction. So are those Detractions?
You have another thread on this: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=923936.
Detraction is saying something about someone else that a. is true b. damages their reputation c. is spread by gossip d. doesn’t need to be said.
First, “not smart” is a relative term. She may be smarter than some, less smart than others. Second, what was your intention towards her and her reputation when you made the comment?
If you thought about what you said before you said it, and decided to say it anyway, then that was unkind (unless you meant it in a jocular manner and would have said it in front of her). If you said it without thinking, then learn to watch your mouth because you could be insulting someone and it could be quite hurtful.
I do not understand the second half of your post.
As you did not mention a name you did not intentionally defame your friend.
Noting a possible health risk is not a detraction. Don’t worry so much.God bless you in your concerns.
She isn’t popular, and I’m not sure if I was trying to intentionally destroy her reputation because I didn’t know that much about Detraction at the time and the person I was telling it to was an adult and probably doesn’t care. I also didn’t mention her name, but again I’m not sure if I was intentionally trying.
The problem with gossip or detraction is not the actual disclosure of the other person’s failure or imperfection. It is the interior motive in our own heart that finds a certain pleasure in demeaning someone else, with a smug satisfaction in dispensing this juicy information. It matters little whether or not the person is identified.
As a further example, when we are troubled and want to obtain counsel from a trusted friend, it is sometimes necessary to reveal these failings of another person. However, there is merely a moment of venting and seeking help, with no looking down on the person whatsoever.
Do you see the difference? God will judge the heart and its secrets, despite what the tongue reveals. It’s best to examine the conscience in that light.
HI SIRACH!!! I MISS YOU!!!
and Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
Echoing Clare’s sentiment!
Yes, it’s been way too long, Clare and Miserissima. It is wonderful to be in touch again! Thanks and a big hug with love!
That nails it better than anything else I have ever seen. Bolding and underlining mine.