Are these forums safe for someone who has scrupulosity?


#1

I’m beginning to think not. I really love these forums, but these forums seem to be getting even more scrupulous than normal lately. I have scrupulosity big time and it’s really starting to mess with me. I often find myself loosing peace when I come here, and getting down on myself and my faith. Is it better to just to try to ignore many threads and forums here, while still trying to enjoy the small portions that are safe for a scrupulous person (like back fence and prayer intentions,) or is it better to hop of the forums all together. Anyone with similar problems and what helps them. Thanks. :thumbsup:


#2

My dear friend

I had scruples bad for a while. i can be that way a little sometimes but not much for a while now. I would say you definitely should leave the forums if it causes trouble, but i would consult a priest or spiritual director first and do exactly what he says. I’ve found myself learning a lot about God lately and everything i learn shows God as all love and goodness with no punishment, wrath, justice etc. These bad sides of God are correctly taught but misunderstood. As an example God does not send us to hell, we send ourselves there. We make our own hell too. i think it’s important to know who God really is when you have this problem. Scruples is not reality. It is very purifying and sanctifying and many saints had it so don’t get discouraged. But you need a spiritual director badly with this problem.

God bless you:thumbsup::slight_smile:
John


#3

I’d say try to avoid the heavy subjects at least for the time being as it might only make things worse for you. I second seeking a spiritual director to help you out.

As for these forums, as with all of them in general, if you find a place that has good things go there. There’s a lot of uplifting threads like this ongoing conversion: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=332683 that really makes one look at their own faith and how to live it better and praise God for having brought another lost sheep.

Also, pray! I’ll be praying for you.


#4

I have scrupulosity too, but these forums don’t seem to bother me that much. If they do bother you though, I would avoid heavy areas and try to stick with just the parts that you enjoy. I find that sometimes when scrupulosity gets bad for me, if I just don’t think about whatever issue I’m having with my scruples for a little while and distract myself, it stops bothering me so much. Doesn’t always work, but sometimes it helps at least a little. Also, I would try talking to a priest about it.


#5

One of the big problems is that when people reply to questions, they do not know the person asking, in most cases. We have some people who are known to be scrupulous, because they say so flat out fairly often. Even so, newcomers will not know this. So they give answers that cause more and more fear, because they are formulated to inspire people to be more strict and careful. Heaven knows the scrupulous don’t need that! And then there are lots of people who probably are scrupulous but don’t self-identify that way, so they can be harmed by lots of things here, too.

I would suggest that you and others who may be scrupulous never ask any questions about moral issues, what may or may not be sinful, and about whether their confession was valid. Also, avoid reading all threads that cover these topics. If there’s anything left that you’re interested in, give it a try, and you can always stop if it causes you trouble.

There’s a resource for the scrupulous in a sticky at the top of the Liturgy and Sacraments forum that you might find helpful. God bless you!

Betsy


#6

I’m seriously scrupulous - and I can’t tell you what it’s done to my spiritual life.
But I agree with so many previous posters, that if there is something disturbing - rather than helpful / educational - towards aiding you, then you should avoid them. I don’t know what you mean by “safe”. I do see so many posters more religious and spiritual in their prayer lives - that I often feel worse, sadly lacking - but this has become a haven - a place where I can discuss my spiritual questions with others of like mind. How many places outside of this type of forum can we say that? It’s difficult discussing scrupulosity with so many outsiders who tell us to just get over it. Here, it’s different. We learn we’re not alone. Redirect your forum interests, if possible/necessary, but try to find the right sections for you.

Understanding your plight.


#7

“Mortal sin” is batted around these forums like a tennis ball at Wimbledon.

There is also a “communal” sense of what defines a pious, faithful Catholic – and oftentimes that definition is more traditional than modern. None of us want our brothers and sisters to stumble and fall, but it seems to me that traditionalism imposes a strenuousness that those of us who struggle with scrupulosity are not ready to meet. For instance, many regular devotions (such as the daily rosary, or First Fridays) are advocated and communicated so strongly on this forum that if we miss a day we’re prone to think we’ve fallen into grave sin.

Some of our more “advanced” members, those who aren’t scrupulous and can spend long periods of time in meditative prayer, sometimes do post “benchmarks” which, while helpful and enlightening, can also cause the scrupulous person to realize how short they’ve fallen. It can also breed contempt for those who are considered “advanced.”

Finally, our own pride teems with the necessity for the absolute, meaning that whatever we say must be the truth, and many of us hope to be “the great hope” of others, praying that our words will make the most difference and serve as the final resolution to a person problem. Someone suffering scrupulosity is bound to approach these suggestions with confidence and walk away confused.

I can empathize with people’s concerns, especially for the need to go somewhere in order to “vent,” to be heard, to receive assurance, etc. because I do it myself, but these forums were created primarily for the purpose of apologetics and “straight answers,” not Dear Abbey sentiments. Scrupulosity entails quite a bit of pride and self-love: the ego will not go down without a fight; so it makes sense that we who are scrupulous want to talk about our anxieties. More than talking, though, we want answers. I think if we recognize our scrupulosity for what it is, and reocgnize these forums for what they are, then we shouldn’t stumble as much as we could.


#8

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