My dh and I have an ugly situation with his mother and her granddaughter. I have written about this before, but this question is new. My MIL and her husband are guardians of her granddaughter. They have taken care of her medically and in all other areas. They are the only parents this little girls knows, but she does know her dad, my dh’s brother. This brother and his mother don’t get along at all and both are hot heads. The court is believing my MIL and her husband, both cops, and stopped visitation of the child with her dad. They are now trying to terminate his parental rights and adopt her. My dh is against this. The dad, his brother, is a immature, immoral man, but still the father. He use to visit his daughter until him and his mother don’t get along. My dh just called his mother, who abused him in childhood, and tried expressing how he disagrees with terminating his brothers’ right to his child. She was very upset and said that they are the parents of this little girl. He corrected her and said they are the guardians appointed by the court to take care of her. She yelled at him and said, “No, we are her parents, the ones who sat up with her when sick, the ones who take care of her…”
I realize that they are the only parents this girl does know, but they shut the dad out, for he is hard to get along with. My MIL has even called him “white trash.” They hate each other. My BIL has disowned his mother and is so angry with her. He has a terrible temper. When my dh tried to tell her that they are not the parents and that they are guardians and knew that some day they would have to give the child back, she denied it completely and said they are the parents of this child. She kept saying it would not be fair to this child to take her away from them for they are all that she knows. This is why we said no to the judge when he asked us to take this child. We knew first that we would have to deal with my dh’s mentally ill brother and that we would some day have to give her up. My MIL doesn’t see it this way and says this child is hers and over her dead body will she ever allow the dad to have her. This worries me. She is unstable in my opinion also. She freaked out when my husband was in the monastery. She thought that was the worse thing in the world to have a son studying to be a priest. She hates the Church. My dh brought this up to her tonight and said she can be “neurotic” and she got really angry at that and said that she drove him crazy by studying to be a priest. She also blamed all other abused on my husband on her ex, his father. She took no responsibility for her part.
This is all going to the court next month. My husband doesn’t want to step in and help his brother for he is very selfish man. He loves his daughter, but has not seen her since Christmas. He can visit her at a visitation center and says he refuses to do that and rather not see her at all. Personally, I don’t think that neither party should raise this girl, but she is more familiar with her grandmother who she calls mommy.
Is my MIL crazy in thinking and really believing that she is the parent of this child? If she believes this, why is see trying to terminate her son’s parental right and adopt this girl? She must know they are not the parents, but I heard her tonight and she truly believes she is entitled to this girl and she is hers forever. My MIL is 60 years old and her husband is 41 years old. My BIL thinks that his mother wants to give her husband a child, his child. What a mess???