are we validly married?

I tried ask the apologist but I got no answer. i was married in the catholic church. i have ocd. My husband new i had ocd but am not sure we told the priest or not. I read somewhere that mental illness is a impediment to marriage. do we have a invalid marriage because my ocd? If yes is there a way to make it valid?

Does you or your husband’s OCD manifest itself in ways that interfere with the essential properties of marriage - i.e., having marital relations, being faithful to each other, being open to life?

Talk to your priest. No one here on this board can answer your question, we can merely speculate.

First, your marriage is **valid **unless it is proven otherwise. You were married in the Catholic Church and completed all the canonically required paperwork. Your marriage is valid.

Second, certain mental illnesses **can **be an impediment to a valid marriage if the parties are unable to undertake the properties of marriage, form intent, or give consent. Mental illneess is not *automatically *an impediment.

Third, if under close scrutiny with lawful authority in your diocese, you come to believe some essential element was missing-- ie, valid consent, etc-- YES it can be rectified. In some cases it is enough to simply make a new act of consent privately, and sometimes it requires canonical form.

Your priest will guide you.

I think your OCD is effecting your judgment here. You are overthinking and worrying without good reason. Your priest would not have conducted the marriage if he believed there was an impediment in place.

I think this is a question for your parish priest. We’re not qualified to answer in regards to your particular circumstances.

I will say, though, that the reason mental illness can be an impediment to marriage is because it can impair one’s ability to (a) understand the committment they are undertaking and/or (b) enter the commitment freely.

Since you are here expressing your desire to be validly married in the eyes of the Church, it would seem to me that these exceptions probably don’t apply to you. But I don’t know you personally nor am I a priest, so I can’t say such a thing authoritatively. Remember, though, the Church always presumes validity until proven otherwise.

I talked to priest who married us on email. He said that we can presume it valid. i tend to get scrupulous. That is because of the ocd. But if he was wrong we’d be living in sin. that scares me to think. I want God to be happy with us.

It may be. It depends on the nature of the disability, whether it existed at the time of the marriage, whether it prevented the person from having proper intention and full free will consent, whether it was disclosed before marriage, and other factors.

The only way to find out in a specific case is to submit that case to the diocesan marriage tribunal for investigation and judgement. They would not accept the case unless there was evidence the marriage has irretreivably broken down (usually civil divorce). The person to address your question to is your local pastor who can tell you how to initiate the process.

if you are still married, and you followed the Church laws on marriage, the marriage is presumably valid and you need take no action.

rule#1 for the scrupulous: follow the advice of the priest who knows you and your situation, in this case, the priest who married you, and disregard completely input from anonymous people on the internet, or at least regard it as disinterested opinion, not as absolute truth when applied to your situation.

Listen to your priest.

If he were wrong, which he isn’t, you would NOT be living in sin because you entered into the marriage in good faith. IT IS VALID.

Do not let your illness convince you otherwise.

Listen to your priest.

You didn’t withhold the information from your husband, so it is not an impediment unless it turns out to be an impediment. If you are living your marriage vows just fine, then there is no reason to believe that your marriage is not valid.

A diagnosis of OCD isn’t a defect of form (like a Catholic marrying outside the Church without dispensation, or siblings marrying, or something like that) so the proof of the pudding is in the eating. If a bird seems to have a crippled wing, and yet when it leaves the tree it can fly, then it is not a flightless bird. It doesn’t matter what your diagnosis says you are capable of. Of course it is something a spouse-to-be needs to know in order to make a fully-informed choice, but a diagnosis is only an educated guess when it comes to predicting your abilities. The only thing that matters is what you are capable of.

thans a lot mate!!!

Yes. You were validly married. There is nothing to worry about. Go forth and fret no more about this.

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