This is a problem I keep having and I don’t know how to overcome it.
I go to Mass every Sunday with my daughter, but my husband never goes and he has not attended Mass regularly for at least 6 or 7 years now. He insists that I am too “fanatical” about attending Mass every Sunday and that one reason he doesn’t go now is because I “nagged” him about it too much early on in our marriage and made it “miserable” for him. So after several attempts to remind him of how serious the Sunday Mass obligation is – which he totally refuses to accept – I gave up and now just assume he will stay home.
To make matters worse, we seem to have a tendency to get into arguments either right before I leave for Mass or right after I come back – usually over something fairly trivial, like dirty dishes being left in the sink, running short of some food or drink, etc. Of course, when such arguments occur right around church time he sometimes takes the opportunity to poke me about what a “fine Christian example” I’m setting
Whenever this happens I end up leaving for Mass feeling like I shouldn’t go and I don’t deserve to be there if I’m such a lousy Catholic and a total failure at my primary duty of getting him to heaven. Or if it happens after Mass, I find myself wondering what good it did me to go.
I do try to go to confession about once a month or at least every other month and of course I am always confessing lack of charity or impatience toward my husband Most of the time, the priest just gives me the standard advice about being more charitable toward him, praying for him, etc., which is fine, but doesn’t help me figure out how to overcome THIS particular situation.
It may be that I am extra sensitive to criticism of any kind around Mass time because that’s when I feel most acutely aware of the separation between us when it comes to religion, and of my own failure to overcome that He faithfully attended Mass every week before we got married and for several years afterward, and I can’t help but feel that his falling away from the Church must be my fault; but I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong, or why no matter how hard I try, my good Christian example never seems to be good enough.
So, does anyone else have this problem, and what if anything can you do to stop it?