Arranged marriages


#1

I have to say i’m a white american and i think there should be arranged marriages like in india. Less problems in there lifes. Plus i think we as white families we live in a sad culture today.
Most whites wouldn’t help anyone from there own race out. But in india there much for there families, just like mexicans.
This isn’t ment to offend anyone by all means, just my view. Thankyou:thumbsup:


#2

Why do you have to say this?


#3

Because alot of people condem arranged marraiges. And some peps talk very badly about sikhs from india , all cause they wear turbins , that they think there crimnals.


#4

No, why do you have to say this…

:shrug:


#5

Cause i’m ashamed of our culture.Is that clear.


#6

it is certainly easy to find a lot of evil to condemn in our culture, but what does that have to do with the ethnic backround of any poster?

if you wish to link current evils in society with the current marriage customs you must first establish what you deem those evils to be, and then show with logical scientific studies that those evils are the result of current marriage customs. then you must show how societies where arranged marriages are the norm do not have those cultural problems. If you do have such evidence, that would be the basis for a good discussion, so go for it. We don’t care about your ethnic background.

also this forum is about non-Catholic religions, so the discussions here should relate to that topic. we have forums for family life, and for sacraments, including marriage, if you feel your topic would work well there.


#7

I’m sorry you feel that way. I am a White American and I am not a self-loathing person. There are aspects of my culture that I don’t like, but for the most part, I do.

I have known people in arrainged marriages and they are just like most marriages. Some are happy - some are not.

And I am never rude to anyone nor is anyone I know. Those louts are, I think, the exception not the rule. There are Sikhs who teach in the University where I work and they are always treated very respectfully.


#8

Well pardon me, i guess it was wrong to post here. I’m talking strickly of my experiences, i have alot of sikh friends and they tell me how people don’t like them , cause of the turbins. I will no longer post in this area. Thankyou the end…


#9

I think some people reacted defensively to tigster. I dotn think he was condemning American lifestyle. I’m Canadian myself, just so you know. I think he has a valid point in some respects. For example, the divorce rate in America is astronomical, much higher than for arranged marriages. Plus, people tend to be happier in arranged marriages, as is shown in studies. I guess a bunch of people will be looking for official proof of this, but I’ve heard it many times.

I think the big problem in the states and Canada is that people don’t accept their marriage all the times, the ups and downs, and everything else. I think you really have to make a commitment without ever having divorce as a possibility. Unfortunately, people just get married because of a loving feeling, but then when they get attracted to someone else, they just break it off.

Plus, arranged marriages are not necessarily against Christian values. I think if someone is forced into a marriage it would be. I know an Indian girl very well, and what happens when her relatives in India are arranged, the parents of two children get a son and daughter together, and they meet each other and see how they are compatible, but the marriage doesn’t go ahead unless both parties agree to it.

In fact, marriages used to be much more like this until recently in all European countries. Families would take a much more active role in the paring of couples for marriage than they do nowadays. I’m not saying anyone should ever be forced into a marriage, but participation of other family members is not necessarily the worst thing ever.


#10

Tigster, I have wondered the same thing after seeing Fiddler on the Roof and the Indian guys I work with going through similar experiences. The same cultural decay that is propping up a high divorce rate would also likely prohibit any success of arranged marriages in my opinion. The secret of a good marriage isn’t making a good match, it’s, well, a lot of other things: similar values, a committment to the marriage and most of all, the ability to overcome selfishness and serve one another.

Before the divorce rate soared (1960?), romantic marriages worked just fine. It’s people turning away from Christian teachings that drives all sorts of society’s problems.


#11

What’s wrong with *your *culture?


#12

I don’t care for arranged marriages, but I like the kind they have in Japan and South Korea.

It’s not actually an arranged marriage: your parents just set you up on a date with someone, usually the child of their friends, to see if you like each other, with the eventual goal being to get married.

Civilized.


#13

http://www.coolsmilies.net/gestures/sq_huh.gif

I live in an arranged marriage.

My wife makes dinner and I take out the trash. It’s a beautiful arrangment.


#14

:smiley:


#15

I think you paint with a broad brush. Care to provide proof that most whites wouldn’t help anyone from their own race? And then explain what this has to do with arranged marriages? :confused:


#16

I would like that too. I don’t like being “set up” by friends, where you meet someone and go on a blind date. But I would love it if my parents or an older married couple had a party or outing where they introduced me to someone, or introduced a group of singles to each other. I think that would be fine.


#17

I talked to several people from India where arraigned marriages are common. They said that if the parents MAKE the daughter marry a man, often the marriage is terribly unhappy and she has no recourse. However, if the parents introduce the daughter to a man whom they think she might like, and she has the choice to accept or not, then often the marriage turns out very good.

I also met a woman from Qatar who told her parents she did not want them to arrange a marriage for her and she’d find her own husband. It turned out that her sister and brother in law knew a man who they thought would be a nice match for her, introduced him and they got married. So it turned out to be an arrainged marriage after all - just not arrainged by her parents.

I love talking to people from other parts of the world and other cultures, but unlike the OP I don’t denigrate my own.


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