Oh, reading all the stuff about the recent scandals has been so disheartening to me. Listened to this particular homily, very concerning, church has so much cleaning out to do. I wonder how many were lead astray. Bold Homily From Priest addressing today's scandals
I feel like I’ve dealt with “I don’t fit in, I don’t belong” so much of my life. I’ve always felt like an outcast, lots of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. I’ve been a bit obsessed with SSA as of late. I’ve watched alot of videos, Fr. Michael Schmitz has some good ones, bought his book as well.
But these scandals have poked alot of holes into me, I guess I’ve been putting my faith in the wrong thing. It’s Jesus who I need to turn to, have a relationship with. I get caught up in the hierarchy and rules and miss out on that.
Some do point out the distincitions between those actively pursuing a homosexual life style and those trying to live chaste holy lives. I feel like others do not though, they just lump people together in the same pool. I have a friend who has a friend who’s in the seminary, says he struggle with SSA too. I just wonder what they make of all of this. I feel hurt and kind of betrayed, this blatant hypocrisy. I guess this opens one’s eyes to the real battle. Satan is trying to destroy the church from within, the time for cleansing is here. I’m sure being tested. Well if this results in a stronger but smaller church, then so be it.
Oh, this world is so crazy. Secular things tell me one thing, this lifestyle is ok. I used to say Church says the other, I guess it still does, minus the hypocrites. I still feel a bit shaken. I have so many wounds that need to be healed. I wish I didn’t have this struggle, must have been given it for a reason. I still feel like most of this comes from my past. Been going to a Catholic Counselor, has helped alot. I need to just turn to Jesus, he’s the one who saves. Though protestants say the same thing and they don’t have all these rules, scandals, and same teachings that Catholicism does. I’m not even sure how to defend the church anymore. Time will tell.