Asking Father's Blessing


Before proposing, is it ever appropriate to ask for her father’s blessing over the phone? Say the father isn’t around often, and you see him 1-2 times a month tops, and it’s never a good time when you do see him.


If the father says no, will you not ask her to marry you?


This tradition isn’t really required at all and some people even find it offensive. If you believe it would be well-received, I would simply invite her parents to dinner or something. I’m not sure why the man is expected to ask for the blessing alone anyway. Doesn’t it make more sense for the couple to ask together, so at least the father knows that the daughter want to get married too? I honestly think this weird tradition should be replaced with a celebratory meal, outing, or get-together where the couple asks their parents for their blessing as a team.


Would your girlfriend like you to ask her father for his blessing?


I think it is a lovely tradition and show of respect to her parents.


If you want to ask his blessing, please do not do it over the phone. Call and ask him if he can meet you for coffee or a beer (you would know which) because you would like to talk to him. Most likely he will guess why.

While it is not a requirement, it is a lovely gesture.


I think it is a lovely gesture!

Actually, one of my daughters boyfriend (now husband) insisted on talking to my husband. Well my daughter figured out what was going on. She called us beforehand said “He’s on his way you’d better say yes or I’ll be furious!”

To your question; I know you said you don’t see him often and it’s never a good time to talk. That’s why you have to get his phone number and call him, say “I’d like to drop over just for 10 minutes is that okay?”. OR “I’d like to meet for a beer just the two of us is that ok?” This should be done in person, not over the phone.

God bless you and congratulations!


I hate this tradition, to be honest. Don’t ever ask for permission if you won’t obey at least- and regarding marriage, if you really would make your plan to marry her dependent on her dad, than this would be not a good example for a christian view on marriage, IMHO.


I’d say just don’t ask the father’s blessing.

It’s her decision.
I never asked my wife’s father. I mean, if he said no I still would have proposed.


Agreed, this tradition is one where the phrase ‘play it by ear’ is very appropriate. It Is considered appropriate in my wife’s background but as her father was long dead I asked her mother and brother. Her brother’s response was, ‘Finally she’s getting married horray, I will no longer be bullied! Are you sure you want to do this, she is very difficult’. But then her brother is a joker and a lot younger and they have a very close relationship beyond the jokes. My mother-in-law was of the opinion that it is her daughter’s choice but appreciated the fact I paid attention to the culture of your future wife.


I didn’t care about the culture. I was asking her and that was all I needed.

Besides, her parents love me. :rofl:


Make sure your girlfriend is OK with this first. It would have caused my daughter to have a serious conversation with her fiance if he’d done this. And I sure would have had words with my husband if I found out he’d talked with my father before talking to me!

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