[quote="Cupofkindness, post:7, topic:219363"]
He would like you to ask him? What? Seriously, who would be the head of this family? If he is unable to ask you this after all that has happened in the past 7 years, I think he needs help, direction, motivation, counseling and Nia Marie--you are really not in a position to help him, in truth, you haven't helped him yet. What does he want in life? It really doesn't sound like he wants to be a husband and carry the responsibilities of that great privilege. And this talk about non-traditional??? This is ridiculous. We are not talking about tradition in the sense of a fashionable way to do things, we are talking important traditions that have been established because this is the right way to begin a happy marriage. What do your parents and his parents think of a possible marriage? Are they involved at all?
It's a blessing that you want to be Catholic, but unless your common-law-husband/ boyfriend is on the same path, you should save yourself the eventual pain of where this would probably lead. Nothing that you have described sounds like the foundation for a successful marriage. You and your dreams are worth more than this. You are longing for more in life, but this guy isn't going to fill your heart's desires. You know that only God can. I don't mean to sound so blunt but it's time for you to move on and find a better life for you and your precious children.
There are many truths in this. Just because others don't want it to be true, doesn't change anything. Men and women tend to be happiest in traditional marriages and it is hard to grow a traditional marriage from an untraditional start.
Many people have tried to invent a better type of marriage, such as egalitarian or matriarchal. The results have been mixed. While it may be possible to have a happy successful marriage where the rules are reinvented, the better path is a traditional marriage, which grows from a traditional start.
Marriage and Catholicism are like a tapestry. You can pull on one thread, but you never know what else it is attached to and the whole tapestry may unravel before you.
In other words, the guy must ask and I question the guy that wants his girlfriend to ask him.