At a crossroads


#1

Hello, I am a new poster, but have visited these forums for quite some time. I have a bit of a problem. Where to begin…

I was Baptised, Confirmed and welcomed into the Church at the Easter Vigil on April 6, 1996 (wow, my anniversary was yesterday). Anyway, in the beginning I was really on a spiritual high (so to-speak) but things happened in my life and I fell away (I didn’t actually leave the church, but was a stupid kid and let my social life come first). I met my DH and we both came back Home and were married almost 6 years ago. Once again, I fell away notice a pattern?). Then about 2 years ago, I felt the need to come Home again. Which I did - and my spiritual life was really getting the foundations it needed. I attended Mass weekly, I went to Confession at least once a month and have prayed the Rosary daily.

If you’re still with me, I thank you. For the last few months, I hvae been feeling almost like I’m just going through the motions. Then 3 weeks ago, I stopped going to Mass, stopped praying and stopped saying my Rosary at night. I feel like I am going through a dark night of the soul, but at least Mother Theresa stayed in the race. What is wrong with me? I don’t want to abandon my faith again. I know I can’t be in the honeymoon-mode all the time, but this is really bothering me. I feel in my soul that my spiritual life is, well, lazy. My heart tells me that Faith is a gift and that I need to work at getting it back, but I am so blah on the inside that I don’t even know where to begin.

In my heart of hearts I believe in the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins - but why am I having such a hard time with this? This is Holy Week, I should be preparing for Easter, but… ugh.

Has anyone ever felt like this? Does anyone have any suggestions? I know I should speak with my priest, but I just don’t know what to even say. :frowning:


#2

Putting your spiritual life aside for the moment, how is the rest of your life?

Is your health good? Have you begun any new medications (particularly any with a “caution may make you drowzy” label)? Are you getting enough sleep? Is your marriage on solid ground? Are the kids doing well at school? Are you keeping your house clean? If you work outside the home, how are things on the job? Do you find yourself chronically fatigued? Are you happy? Are you more or less happy than you were three months ago?

Spirituality does not exist in a vacuum. If your health is poor or slipping, if you are worried about other things, if you are depressed, if you are tired, if you are . . . whatever, it will often effect your spiritual life. If after you have taken an inventory on the all the other aspects of your life, you can still find no reason for your slump in spirituality, go see your priest and tell him all of this. See what he says.


#3

Thanks for your reply, Marsha. Nothing has changed in my life. My marriage is good, my child is good (well, as good as a 15 year old girl can be :D) What gets me is that I can’t pinpoint why I feel this way. It’s like I can’t put my thumb on why this is happening.


#4

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death.
Amen


#5

KM,

Perhaps this post will be helpful for you:

When I’m Found in the Desert Place


#6

In Divine Mercy in My Soul, St. Faustina records her conversations with Jesus. In one of them, Jesus says, basically, that our feelings are not always in line with what’s right. Sometimes we don’t feel like praying, going to Mass, etc - the same way you don’t always feel like cooking for your daughter, driving her everywhere, etc. But with your daughter, you do it anyway, right? Jesus asks us to do the same for Him. He says that He understands we that our feelings aren’t always in line with what’s right, and when we do what’s right anyway out of love, it makes him even happier :).
Even if you get nothing from prayer, say it. Start small, if you’re not praying already. It’ll help, I promise. Maybe throughout the day, try saying, “Lord Jesus, please come into my heart. Help me to see Your presence and feel Your love.” A priest told me to do that during Advent once, and it really helped.

Good luck! I’ll pray for you.


#7

Wow, that is word-for-word what I needed to read. I want to print this and carry it in my purse so I can read it again. Thank you.


#8

Thank you the phoenix and pentecostbaby for your prayers and kind words. I know what I have to do (go to Confession and get myself back to Mass). I hope this feeling of emptiness goes away. There is so much to be thankful and greatful for - I just hope He will accept me back even though I have a tendancy to stray.


#9

He will, I promise!!


#10

Yep. Don’t wait for the confession to start going back to Mass though. Even if you can’t receive communion you will still get great graces from taking part in the liturgies of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter. :thumbsup:

Learn an Act of Spiritual Communion and say it at times you can’t receive.


#11

What would you do if you could never go to Mass again?

What if it wasn’t available?

What if you couldn’t receive the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ?

It is not something to take for granted!

Every time I hear the words "Ecce Agnus Dei, Ecce Qui Tollit Peccata Mundi, Beate Quati Chenum Agni Vocati Sunt! (Pardon my spelling in Latin), I cry!

THIS IS THE LAMB OF GOD WHO TAKES AWAY THE SINS OF THE WORLD, HAPPY ARE THOSE WHO ARE CALLED TO HIS SUPPER!!!

You see, I listened to the lies we are fed every day by our world and fell away from the Faith. I ended up in prison for my sins, where I couldn’t go to Mass.

So, I beg you to think about the perfect gift we have been given, The Holy Mass, which so many of us have thrown into the trash!!

The Good News is that God loves us so much that He is always waiting for us to return, like the prodigal son. He is always Merciful and forgiving of our sins, like the perfect Father that He is!

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

Mark


#12

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