When the comedian Stephen Colbert took to the dais on Thursday for his keynote speech at the Al Smith white-tie charity dinner, the annual gathering of New York’s Roman Catholic elite, he immediately flashed a sly glance at Cardinal Timothy M. Dolan, sitting a few seats away.
You can listen to Colbert’s entire speech here. It is a hoot!
Some jokes - IMO, not the best ones.
*]“I am proud to be America’s most famous Catholic. I’m sure the Cardinal is thinking, Stephen, pride is a sin. Well Cardinal, so is envy, so we’re even.”
*]“Since [Al Smith] first shattered the stained glass ceiling, America has seen a flood of Catholic presidents, from John F. Kennedy, to JFK to good old Jack Kennedy.”
*]“We got close-ish in 2004 with John Kerry, who was a deeply Catholic candidate. In that listening to him talk was like attending a Latin mass.”
*]“Your Eminence. That’s a fantastic title. He’s not just sitting there, he’s emanating. He’s like a fog of cardinal-ness. On the other hand, The Eminence sounds like the most boring Spider-Man villain of all time.”
*]“I have great respect for Cardinal Dolan. Although I have to say, sir, it’s not easy while you’re wearing that outfit. In that cape and red sash, you look like a matador who’s really let himself go. Did you not see the invite? It said white tie, not Flamboyant Zorro.”
*]“I’m not saying New York is gay Mecca, but it’s at least Gay-rusalem.”
Colbert is so Catholic and so funny!