Attending a non-Catholic service

My wife no longer attends Mass. I attend weekly (and sometimes during the week). It’s not that she doesn’t believe (she says), but she doesn’t like the deacon or most of the people. She was protestant and converted to the Church about 8 years ago. But, she says she misses the charismatic experience (especially the music), and there’s nothing like that in our parishes (two in town here) or in the diocese (that I can find). So, she met these folks from Church of God and they invited here to go to their service and listen to their music. She says she’ll go to Mass on Sunday if I’ll go with her to that church and listen to music with her. I’m very hesitant to, because it makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I really do want her to go back to Mass. There’s no way I’m going to join another church, and I’ll probably get into an argument with them over theology at some point. I can pretty well hold my own when it comes to apologetics, so I don’t fret too much about that. But, it feels like I’m trying to make a deal with the devil, so to speak. Any thoughts/advice?

I would firmly, but gently put my foot down about not going to the Church of God. If you believe it compromises your values then you shouldn’t be coerced into going. It sounds to me that she’s cutting a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” deal. She made a commitment to be a Catholic and now she has to stick with it. No one said it was going to be easy. She has to face the challenge of getting over her personal grievances with this deacon and try to see him as a son of God. Perhaps both of you can go to a priest to talk this over. Not going to Mass because she doesn’t like a deacon is a weak and uncharitable excuse. Your wife should not go to church to be entertained. God is the audience during Mass, not the congregation.

Sounds like trouble in River City…time to sit down with your wife and engage in a serious discussion about the disconnect she obviously is experiecing between attending mass and feeding her soul. What does she look for and expect to get from attending mass? If she misses the tradition of her origin–is it really at the level of the faith or the manner of its practice? Could she supplement her desire to praise God through music/singing without abandoning the Catholic mass?

You mentioned a deacon and parishoners–where is the priest in this equasion? Have you sought his counsel, input, direction? Have you considered jointly attending a bible study or faith sharing at your parish? How about pursuing theology classes at a local Catholic college/university, if available? Given the variability in parishes depending on the leadership of the priest-- another option might be to find a neighboring parish–not with better entertainment–but perhaps with better faith formation and a priestly leader who is more thorough and compelling in his spiritual leadership and counsel.

[quote=Scoobyshme]My wife no longer attends Mass. I attend weekly (and sometimes during the week). It’s not that she doesn’t believe (she says), but she doesn’t like the deacon or most of the people. She was protestant and converted to the Church about 8 years ago. But, she says she misses the charismatic experience (especially the music), and there’s nothing like that in our parishes (two in town here) or in the diocese (that I can find). So, she met these folks from Church of God and they invited here to go to their service and listen to their music. She says she’ll go to Mass on Sunday if I’ll go with her to that church and listen to music with her. I’m very hesitant to, because it makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I really do want her to go back to Mass. There’s no way I’m going to join another church, and I’ll probably get into an argument with them over theology at some point. I can pretty well hold my own when it comes to apologetics, so I don’t fret too much about that. But, it feels like I’m trying to make a deal with the devil, so to speak. Any thoughts/advice?
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What she wants is liturgical entertainment and not a union with Christ in the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist.

You don’t get a close relationship with Jesus by the sacrament or some eucharist, you become close with Jesus by prayer, love, studying his word, and faith.

-----“You don’t get a close relationship with Jesus by the sacrament or some eucharist, you become close with Jesus by prayer, love, studying his word, and faith.”----

I think you are presenting a false dichotomy, you get into a good relationship with Jesus with all the above.

Through the sacraments we receive God’s Grace, through faith and love we participate in the sacraments. We can study scripture, and pray, but it is very important to worship God in the Mass. As someone said earlier we go to Mass to worship God not to be entertained.

But it can be hard to worship God if you don’t feel comfortable in the Church you are in, and that seems to be the problem here too. I am in a parish where it is sometimes difficult to participate. We have faced many difficulties in our Church, but it is starting to grow again as people rediscover the Catholic faith. Many times we do take field trips to a very nice Catholic Church about 25 minutes away which reminds us what we are there to do. Sometimes going to another setting such as this, will enliven and refocus your faith.

How important is it to worship God in the mass? Are you saying that because I am a born again christian who is not catholic that I am not saved?

You don’t get a close relationship with Jesus by the sacrament or some eucharist, you become close with Jesus by prayer, love, studying his word, and faith.

therealgoodnews,

I undesrtand the way you want to explain things because of what you believe.

We as Catholics beleive that we receieve Jesus Christ Himself in the Eucharist–not as a symbol but real. At some point, by prayer, studying the word of God, faith, it makes us closer to God. But nothing can compare the closeness of communion with the Lord Himself in the Sacred Eucharist.

Pio

How important is it to worship God in the mass? Are you saying that because I am a born again christian who is not catholic that I am not saved?

threalgoodnews,

By virtue of your baptism you are saved. But make no mistake, you and everybody else in this world has to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” as Saint Paul said. Because if you outrightly reject God’s grace, even if you are baptized, you can loose your salvation.

Now with regards to the importance of worshipping God at the Mass. You actually hit the point–we worship God in the Mass–rightly because Jesus is really present there, and we worship Him. This is the fulfillment of the 1st Commandment. If you miss the Mass every Sunday without any valid reason, you violate the 1st Commandment–and that is mortal sin.

Pio

[quote=therealgoodnews]How important is it to worship God in the mass? Are you saying that because I am a born again christian who is not catholic that I am not saved?
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Jesus determines who will be saved, not you and not us. Please do not read into posts something which isn’t there.

[quote=Scoobyshme]My wife no longer attends Mass. I attend weekly (and sometimes during the week). It’s not that she doesn’t believe (she says), but she doesn’t like the deacon or most of the people. She was protestant and converted to the Church about 8 years ago. But, she says she misses the charismatic experience (especially the music), and there’s nothing like that in our parishes (two in town here) or in the diocese (that I can find). So, she met these folks from Church of God and they invited here to go to their service and listen to their music. She says she’ll go to Mass on Sunday if I’ll go with her to that church and listen to music with her. I’m very hesitant to, because it makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I really do want her to go back to Mass. There’s no way I’m going to join another church, and I’ll probably get into an argument with them over theology at some point. I can pretty well hold my own when it comes to apologetics, so I don’t fret too much about that. But, it feels like I’m trying to make a deal with the devil, so to speak. Any thoughts/advice?
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Maybe your wife would like listening to some CD’s? There is lots of music out there that entertains and yet worships God. But the mass isn’t for entertainment. I admit every other Sunday we have guitars but it’s about worshipping God not listening to the music. I’ve also been to some Life Teen Masses and they are very upbeat, but it’s focused on worship not entertainment.
Buy her some Christian CD’s.

[quote=therealgoodnews]You don’t get a close relationship with Jesus by the sacrament or some eucharist, you become close with Jesus by prayer, love, studying his word, and faith.
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I once thought that. And now I’m longing to receive Christ in the Eucharist. How close can you get than by receiving Christ’s body and blood? All the other things are true. You do become closer to God through prayer, love, reading, faith.

Consider volunteering to help with the liturgy in your parish. Sing in the choir, become a lector, and help make the liturgy better. Also encourage devotions, like a 40 Hours.

[quote=Scoobyshme] She was protestant and converted to the Church about 8 years ago. But, she says she misses the charismatic experience (especially the music), and there’s nothing like that in our parishes.

I faced the same problem like you. My wife was a protestant before marriage and she felt some diffulties in the begining with Mass and Rosary. I explained about Catholic and cleared her doubts and started to pray for her especially with Mother Mary. My prayer was heard and my wife became a practing Catholic and now she saying Rosary. So please pray for your wife to become a practing Catholic.

God Bless you.
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[quote=therealgoodnews]How important is it to worship God in the mass? Are you saying that because I am a born again christian who is not catholic that I am not saved?
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How important? It’s exactly what he commanded us to do!
Dano

[quote=therealgoodnews]You don’t get a close relationship with Jesus by the sacrament or some eucharist, you become close with Jesus by prayer, love, studying his word, and faith.
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Oh but you do! Have a real good look at 1st Corinthians 11:23-31…you don’t get much closer a relationship to Christ than that. Now whether your personal theology, that differs with that of the early Christian church agrees with that or not…is your problem

Hi C.M. The way we get closer is by us drawing closer to Him.Its what we do that counts. To recieve and do nothing does not bring us closer to Him. I agree with Goodnews we must draw closer by praying, communicating,reading, and abiding in Him. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all his rightiosness and ALL these things shall be added unto thee. :thumbsup: God Bless

I agree with both Spoken Word and Church Militant.

I agree with both Spoken Word and Church Militant.

Spoken Word AND Church Militant:bigyikes: How can this be?

God Bless,
Maria

original postMy wife no longer attends Mass. I attend weekly (and sometimes during the week). It’s not that she doesn’t believe (she says), but she doesn’t like the deacon or most of the people. She was protestant and converted to the Church about 8 years ago. But, she says she misses the charismatic experience (especially the music), and there’s nothing like that in our parishes (two in town here) or in the diocese (that I can find). So, she met these folks from Church of God and they invited here to go to their service and listen to their music. She says she’ll go to Mass on Sunday if I’ll go with her to that church and listen to music with her. I’m very hesitant to, because it makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I really do want her to go back to Mass. There’s no way I’m going to join another church, and I’ll probably get into an argument with them over theology at some point. I can pretty well hold my own when it comes to apologetics, so I don’t fret too much about that. But, it feels like I’m trying to make a deal with the devil, so to speak. Any thoughts/advice?

Yes, go to a Bible study with the church she wants to attend. By doing so, you can then most likely both clearly see the errors of the teaching in this church. Then ask if she thinks liking music is enough of a reason to attend a church that has false teachings.

If she doesn’t agree that the teachings are false, you will then be able to confront the real problem. Her loss of faith that the Catholic Church is the true teaching of Christ.

God Bless,
Maria

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