Attending a wedding

Am i allowed to attend my Godfathers wedding if it’s his 2nd Marriage and he refused to get an annullement from his first wife of 20+ years?

Thank you,


Can you and should you are two different questions.

There is no canon law that specifically prohibits you from attending. That said, the Church has plenty to say about forming your conscience, using prudential judgment, and participating in the sin of others.

Sounds like your godfather knows he is not able to contract a valid marriage and is going forward anyway with plans to marry outside the Church. Does not sound like an event I would want to support.

You should talk with your pastor about the best course of action in this situation.

I’m sure you are already aware of this, but if his first wife of 20+ years is deceased, then he is free to marry again, even if he previously divorced his first wife, without an annulment.

I think too, you also need to ask yourself: what does your godfather mean to you. If he is a close family friend, regardless of what the church teaches, you should be there. Family is important and you would hate to lose the person based on church technicaltities.

:thumbsup: I have seen far to many families torn apart by this very stance of not attending a wedding if those getting married are not in perfect order with the Church. Do not risk ruining a lifetime relationship - go to the wedding and rejoice with your Godfather. Life is too short. :wink:

Go to the wedding. Be gracious. Enjoy yourself. Be a good example. Don’t pontificate.

There is an old saying.

Love the sinner, hate the sin.

By going and showing your love for your godfather you may be a tool to show Christ’s love.
If you don’t go you may drive a wedge in your relationship that could separate you.

This is all just my opinion.



The issue raised by the OP goes way beyond “church technicalities.” I think when you have a clause such as “regardless of what the church teaches” in any piece of advice, you’re treading on thin ice…especially when what the Church teaches is an application of the teaching of God Himself.


I agree with PPs that the charitable decision is often the right one.

IME, refusing to attend almost always has the opposite effect of driving people further from the Church.

Book Worm said a Mouthful :** “IME, refusing to attend almost always has the opposite effect of driving people further from the Church.”**

Yeah, what he said.

If a person is (reasonably) close to a particular relative (or, is close to relatives who are close the marry-er), then it is in Bad Taste to stand on Ceremony, and refuse to attend the Wedding.

There are MANY times when a Catholic may be called to take a (rather) unpopular decision to stay True to his Spiritual ideals.
To me, this is NOT one of those times.

Truly, if the OP wishes for NOT attend the Reception, that is a good-enough statement (of non-support).

And, then, though not discussed, is : How should the OP treat his new step-Grandmother?
Since they aren’t “Catholic-ly” married, he could just shun her (or, call her an Adultress whenever he sees her).
This is, or course, if the 2 of them ever actually plan to Fornicate together.
While this is technically True, it is probably not going to be accepted very well.

And, the same goes to his Grandfather … call him a SLUT if you want … but, maybe not.

Scrolling down, I too was getting ready to comment on that sentence " If he is a close family friend, regardless of what the church teaches, you should be there."

Personally I would choose to say " If he is a close family friend, **in keeping with **what the church teaches, you can be there."

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