Attending Get-Together for Homosexual Couple


I am sure there are similar threads out there, but nevertheless, here’s my question. My dad’s best friend from high school and best man in his wedding came out as gay a while ago. He lives in New York, but he comes back to town to see my dad a lot. I did not understand the relationship my dad’s friend had with his partner growing up, but was told that this man was his “special friend.” My dad’s friend always includes his partner in his Christmas card and birthday letters to us, but my dad has basically refused to acknowledge he exists.

The two got “married” recently in New York and are coming back to my town this weekend. My dad’s friend and his partner want to get together to have an informal “reception” with my family and other friends from town. I am a young adult, and my parents respect my decisions, but I know my dad will be disappointed and hurt if I do not go. However, i feel my presence alone is showing my support for their “marriage.” My mom takes the “who am I to judge” approach to this whole thing. My dad is a pretty devout Catholic and I am really surprised he will be going to this gathering. I do not know what the “Catholic” or “moral” thing to do would be in this situation. What are your thoughts, opinions, or solutions on this matter?


I would go, but that’s me - not based on anything Catholic.


I firmly believe that we are all equal, and that everyone should be treated the same. Gay marriage is an acknowledgement of equality. Two people should be able to formalize their relationship, regardless of whether they are both men, both women, or one of each. God has told us to love our neighbors and show people that we love them no matter what. Ignoring that couple is only going to hinder their possibility of being saved. Be kind to them. I’m sure they have endured a lot of hate in their lives and giving them more hate is neither moral nor catholic. You don’t have to approve of their actions but do not hate the people themselves. Remember that God loves everyone regardless of their sexuality. I am a pansexual Christian, and this is my opinion on the situation. Go to that event. Nothing is going to be changed by hate and nothing good comes from it either. Share the love <3


i would go; don’t offer any moral opinions

eat their food; drink their beer

what ultimately happens to the souls of the “happy couple” is not on you


Ultimately you have to decide, however, I don’t see attending a reception as accepting or endorsing their relationship.


Catholics cannot attend same sex “weddings” because your presence implies your support for their lifestyle. This is not a wedding but since it’s essentially a celebration of it, I’d say it’s close enough. If in doubt, ask your priest, or maybe a priest here, but I certainly wouldn’t even consider attending such an event. You can also search the Q&A section of (this website) where the apologists have answered this question many times in the past.


i’m not 100% sure i agree with this

we attend “social gatherings” all the time

we may not agree w/ the “modus operandi” of what is going on in the ceremony

just because “we” attend doesn’t that mean we agree

but ; if there is a “clam oyster” bar i am onboard


calm down. shipmate; Lisa offered her opinion

no big deal; you are gonna do what you want to do

imho; the event is a “party” ’ not a “wedding” in the " catholic" tradition

have a great time


Typically people assume that you believe the same as the company you keep. For example, if people were to see you hanging around with a known drug dealer, many would assume that you are either a dealer or somehow associated with drugs.

As a Catholic I would break any friendship with friends involved in a same-sex marriage because, like you said, it will spread scandal, making people think you support such a marriage, or worse, make people think you may be involved in homosexual activity. If you read up on scandal in traditional Catholic books, God takes it very very seriously, so the correct thing to do as a Catholic is to break ties with such a friendship.


“breaking a frriendship”

i’d’ve never gone that far’
you’ll never meet a more conservative catholic than me; to the point of being regressive

but to snub an invitation to a “party” ?

that to me seems aggressive & hostile


Well, since they have known this person their whole life, it’s probably too late for what other people think.


Yikes you seem to be showing quite a lot of hatred.


I know my pastor would say stay away, hands down. Scandal is very serious business:

Matt 13:41 "The Son of man shall send his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all scandals, and them that work iniquity. And shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Matthew 18:6 "But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of scandals. For it must needs be that scandals come: but nevertheless woe to that man by whom the scandal cometh.


I wouldn’t go. I didn’t go to my cousin’s straight wedding either. I guess I am not a wedding person.


It’s never too late to say, “I realized I had to break ties with so-and-so because I didn’t want people to think I approved of his lifestyle, or that I was involved in that lifestyle”.


i get the “scandal” thing’

but we have to try to attempt to keep homosexuals “in the flock”

shunning them is not going to work


I wouldn’t go. I’ve had to break ties with a gay friend which was such a huge relief. I had never told him I disapproved which made it feel like I was lying all the time and made me look like I approved of his lifestyle by being around him.

If you look up the definition of reception, it will tell you it is a celebration. I don’t think God would be celebrating…consider what He would think if you went.

Our Lady of Akita spoke of the danger of compromise…sometimes it’s not worth it to compromise and be guilt tripped into things, especially if it means compromising what we stand for as Catholics.


Yes, that is true. Maybe before breaking ties, I would remind the person that I don’t approve of their lifestyle, and show them where in Scripture it is condemned etc. Then the issue is on their conscience and I did my part. Then if my friend didn’t want to change his lifestyle, I would have no choice but to break ties.

In the meantime, the best thing to do is offer extra prayers and Masses for the person that they will eventually get away from that lifestyle.


i don’t understand how “breaking ties” is going’ve’d help this person you are posting about


I’d go. Do you like the person whose getting married?

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