A little background first:
Many of you know about my "situation": my husband is Traditional Anglican (before females became "priests" and homosexuality was celebrated) and I wish to convert to the Catholic Church. I've read "When only one converts" and I think that no matter what happens this fall is it. I've tried and tried to see his view on the papacy, immaculate conception etc. but every time I think this "drawing/pulling" is gone or goes away it comes back with a vengeance I cannot make it stop. I know I have to be Catholic, I feel it deep within my soul. My husband has thrown around the "you're supposed to get your doctrine from me, I'm the head etc. etc." I've explained to him that if I follow him against my conscience I might as well make him god instead of just husband. He told me that I have a choice to forsake him and our children or stop this "nonsense" and listen to him.
My question is: WHEN I become Catholic can I still attend services with him at the Anglican church besides keeping my weekly mass obligation/days of obligation? And if I can, can I still go up to the rail (it's an traditonal Anglican church) we have small children that he wants blessed and I would have to carry/walk one up there. Should I talk to the priest and explain to him that I no longer want communion or blessings for myself but I will still accompany the little ones up to the rail. It's a tiny church about 20 people or thereabouts so I know that it will be difficult for my husband when someone asks about me not taking communion since they think "general confession" is enough. (they'll think that the confession is enough and there should be no reason that I don't take the bread and wine) I've explained to my husband that I like the people there I like "Bob" the priest but I don't agree with their view on communion (not a sacrifice, not transubstantiation) so I should go to a church where I believe that is-the Catholic Church. He tells me "enjoy your apple" (like Eve who was deceived). I have a very rough road ahead but I just can't walk away from this pulling I have...I just hope I don't end up alone on the kitchen floor crying like this "Justin" guy in "when only one converts"-his wife left him and took the kids and divorced him over his conversion. Either I do this or I will go insane every time I head "he who loves father, mother, daughter, son, wife more than me is not worthy of me"...
I'm so paranoid he's going to change the locks when I go to RCIA...I have a friend from Coming Home Network that said she could give me a class through email/phone calls (she's an RCIA teacher at her parish and has permission from her priest) that way I can go to get confirmed without the fight everytime I step out the door for RCIA class...
Pray for me and advice on the attendance thing would be appreciated,