Attending Wifes Church

My wife left the Catholic church about 3 years ago with my children. She has asked that I support her and my children by attending her evangelical church as well as the Catholic church. Is this OK with Catholic doctrine?

Ohhh…I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t attend both. It’s not fair to either church…especially if you had your children Baptized Catholic, and therefore promised the church to raise them Catholic.

I am so sorry that you find yourself in this predicament. I will pray for you

[quote=Love_2B_an_EM]My wife left the Catholic church about 3 years ago with my children. She has asked that I support her and my children by attending her evangelical church as well as the Catholic church. Is this OK with Catholic doctrine?
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Why didn’t the children stay with you in the Catholic Church? Before you were married, did you not promise to raise any children you might have in the Cathoic Church? :confused:

[quote=Love_2B_an_EM]My wife left the Catholic church about 3 years ago with my children. She has asked that I support her and my children by attending her evangelical church as well as the Catholic church. Is this OK with Catholic doctrine?
[/quote]

Who am I to answer this? Nobody.

But since you ask, here’s my take. She left the Catholic Church. If she WAS Catholic and left, you are saying that she wants your support for turning her back on Jesus Christ in His One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church. What is she really asking? She is asking you to support her in jeopardizing her own salvation and that of your children.

Now how do you put that in a way that will not prompt her to set you on fire? I dunno. Nicey-nicey has never been my gift, and I just got back from a Fr. Corapi mission, so I’m even less inclined than usual to be mousey about stuff like this.

How is it that she took the children with her? Are you separated, and was it part of a separation agreement that she could do that?

I could see the trick of Satan here saying “you should support by letting the children go to another church and the Catholic Church as well” (don’t misinterpret me, I’m not calling your wife Satan). Your kids will be utterly confused of the faith if that’s what happens. They will have to choose whether to believe this or that. That’s like a tug-of-war.

You must remember that both of you have the obligation to norture your kids in the Catholic faith. Both of you promised to do this at the time of their baptism in the Catholic Church. So if your wife is “deliberately” trying to norture your kids of teachings against the Catholic faith because of “her church”, then she is not being faithful to her vows made at that time of their baptism.

You may attend a protestant service BUT you should not substitute it for Mass. But again, this will not really do any good to your kids. They will be more confused. Learn more of the Catholic faith–defend it, if needed, and share it to your kids… and your wife. Be ready to give reason for your hope.

Pray to Our Lady for intercession.
Pio

:hmmm: Love_2B_an_EM

My husband and I are different faiths … and we have been married over 20+ years.

We did the two church thing for a long time - weekly for the Catholic Church and whenever his family invited us to their baptist services and we were avaible.

However, two of the two churches we attended for his family - were blatantly misinforming their congregation of the Catholic Faith — actually the preacher(s) were telling things we taught - that we didnt’. So it was easy - my husband turned to me and said - take a look around - we won’t be back.

He still comes to church with us weekly and Holy Days … but there is still a lot of prayer going on.

You have to be strong Love_2B_an_EM. You have to make her see that you have a right to KEEP YOUR KIDS CATHOLIC!!!

Mgeising

[quote=mercygate]I just got back from a Fr. Corapi mission
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I love Fr Corapi! I’m jealous! :smiley:

[quote=Love_2B_an_EM]My wife left the Catholic church about 3 years ago with my children. She has asked that I support her and my children by attending her evangelical church as well as the Catholic church. Is this OK with Catholic doctrine?
[/quote]

Consider how our world might be different if Adam had defended Eve from the serpent and took the “apple” away from her and threw it far from both of them. Do not fail, as Adam did, to protect your wife and your children from what draws them away from the fullness of the Faith Christ brought us. I will pray that you have the courage and wisdom to bring them back to His Church.

In Christ,
Frances

.

This is one of those very difficult situations. I had a friend who did just what you are proposing. He and his family have spent the last 20 years drifting from one non-denominational church after another. They lost their Catholic Faith and after a relatively short time in a particular church, they feel that their needs are not being met or they disagree with the pastors teaching and move on. They still profess a strong belief in Jesus Christ and the Bible as they interpret it. They are like rudderless boats in the shifting winds of a storm. Your wife asks for your support and I think it is more appropriate that you ask for hers by her attending your Church with the children instead of the other way around. She is the one who has pulled the support she owes and promised to you as her Catholic Spouse when she married you. She does not deserve, nor do you owe her the kind of support she is asking for. All you can do is allow her the freedom to go where she wants, and stick to your Faith for the children and yourself. There is a danger that becoming a Bible fundamentalist she will decide as it says in St. Paul that you are unevenly yoked and will leave you probablyu taking the children along. It is a difficult and painful decision and I thank God I am not in your position. You will be in my prayers.

I’d like to thank all of you for your thoughts, compassion and most of all prayers. My wife (and children) did not have a strong faith while attending the Catholic church. Now they do. I realize that I made a BIG mistake in letting her take the kids away to away from the church. And now am paying the price. We are not separated but I am under constant criticism from my wife. But my faith in the Catholic church is not shaken. How could I ever leave the closeness that I feel with God after receiving communion.

…you made a promise my friend at your childrens baptism weather or not you remember… if you were married in a catholic church you made the same promise before they were born… and that was to raise the children of your marriage in the faith and love and church of Christ (The Roman Catholic Church).

for whatever reason you were unable to honor your promises to God is your business, and i wish you peace…

…trust me, and accept this unrequested advice… get yourself and family back into the catholic chruch…
http://www.silverbulletcomics.com/img/product_images/propic-00000288-01-full.jpg

And just to clarify, my wife will never attend a Catholic mass again. And my children only attend their service. All of that said… my children all were baptized Catholic and we did say that we would raise them Catholic. If I go to confession about this, is all forgiven???
Thanks again for any comments.

[quote=Love_2B_an_EM]I’d like to thank all of you for your thoughts, compassion and most of all prayers. My wife (and children) did not have a strong faith while attending the Catholic church. Now they do. I realize that I made a BIG mistake in letting her take the kids away to away from the church. And now am paying the price. We are not separated but I am under constant criticism from my wife. But my faith in the Catholic church is not shaken. How could I ever leave the closeness that I feel with God after receiving communion.
[/quote]

Prayer ascending. How easy it is for us to be smart when we don’t have to deal with the problem!

Why not start another thread on the family life forum and ask if others have dealt with a similar situation.

Since your children are now coming to Catholic Mass with you (how old are they?) be sure you enroll them in the appropriate CCD classes. This needs to be non-negotiable. You also might do well to find out exactly what her current church is up to. It would be criminal to allow your children to be fed a diet of anti-Catholic theology.

[quote=Love_2B_an_EM]And just to clarify, my wife will never attend a Catholic mass again. And my children only attend their service. All of that said… my children all were baptized Catholic and we did say that we would raise them Catholic. If I go to confession about this, is all forgiven???
Thanks again for any comments.
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Don’t go to confession. (I mean, go to confession but not about this until you have worked through the issues). Go to your priest and talk about this situation. He’s surely dealt with this before.

Love_2B,

All the responses to you have ignored the fact that the Catholic Church does not currently forbid its members from attending services at another church. I think you should talk to your priest, but it seems to me (as a non-Catholic, but one considering conversion to Catholicism and married to a Protestant, so it’s a relevant issue) that you should use this as an opportunity to get some concessions from your wife and keep your children in contact with Catholicism. If she wants you to attend her evangelical church, she should also allow the children to go to Mass with you or engage in other Catholic activities. It’s completely unreasonable for her to take your children away and make them Protestants and then expect you to go along with it. You should say to her as lovingly as possible that you believe in Catholicism and have a duty to teach the Faith to your children.

It’s impossible for me to give useful advice in such a painful and difficult situation. I will remember you in my prayers. But do at least consider how you may be able to get your wife to meet you half-way. Perhaps it can improve relations between the two of you at the same time.

Edwin

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