Autism and Catholic

Would anyone else here with autism like to tell their life before their conversion or reversion story and life since then? I am in RCIA and can’t tell about life after. But I will say that I had a diagnosis when I was little, my elementary school years were decent, Middle school years were when things went wrong. To sum it up, I was sucked into politics that were crammed down my throat by school. You see there was a mock election back in 2008 and…I was not sure who to vote for. I asked my dad, he said mccain. ( he hoped he would die in office and his running mate would win) and to some it up, I was bullied by students and faculty alike, and I became OBSESSED with politics. by the time I was 18 I was an angry man paranoid about the world and those around me. Between mid 2017 to winter 2018/2019 I became engrossed in far right politics online and was tormented by lust. (Even went and upset a jew about the holocaust. : /. I am…trusting to a fault. People can often take advantage of me and use me. Anyway, by winter 2018 I was burned out and disillusioned with everything, and would like nothing more to die . Then I went to 8chan (now 8kun) one day and there was a board…/christian/ they opened my eyes to a faith which I had never really been taught as a kid. I surrendered to God, and He gave me something which I never knew before… Peace. So I tried a Lutheran Church. Did not enjoy it. I was convinced by members on /christian/ to try Catholicism. so I tried a mass at a Catholic Church in my town. And I had the…WORST HEADACHE I had in years. Something did NOT want me there. But I stuck through. I am now waiting to be baptized. It was supposed to be on Easter. I really wanted it to be that day. But…covid 19 business. I simply wonder…why would my parents neglect to teach e how much He loved me? I was in a dump for a DECADE, and no one told me His mercy. I hurt Him so much. I had trouble at first understanding how few were saved. How could that be? I though. It is because people choose to not be saved. I remember seeing a video online from a traditionalist priest, and he said something along the lines of. "The difference between those that become saints, and those that do not, is that the people who become saints, WANT to be saints. They WANT TO BE PLEASING to God, and will put in the effort to do so. How many people can say that nowadays? How many people are not blinded by the riches of the world. People have become selfish instead of selfless.

We TRULY do deserve to go to Hell for what we have done to Him. : /

I’m autistic, and I prefer that to with autism, because I don’t think that’s very descriptive, also before the DSM-5 revisions, I would have been called something else. I have to put that nomenclature out there, so no one is offended when I say autistic, because this is what I call myself. I do have my conversion Story on YouTube, but honestly, I don’t like talking about it. There was a lot of hardship related to it. I don’t regret my decision though, even losing one of my closest friends.

I understand not wanting to talk about it. I am 23 years old but I feel in many ways like an old codger. I never really kept with tech as a kid. I am not really good with tech like others my age. I have no cell phone, and in many ways feel…obsolete, like one of my old stuffed animals I don’t play with anymore. I was likely a part of the last generation that played outside. I did not have a game counsel. I had one actually but dad threw it out when me and my brother fought over it one day. I was in some ways…to busy being a kid. Now I am 23 and barely can type. I don’t know how to use an email. Terrible with touch screens. The world makes less… and less sense. I remember when I was a kid they offered paper applications at the store. NOW, you need to have a phone in your hand I can’t hang that. I don’t know how to do taxes. I am considering religious life, because…I have NO IDEA how to survive in the world. I was troubled student in school and was baby sat for most of high school. I never took my SAT…not like it matters, because except for religious education. I will likely NEVER step foot in a classroom again. Unless as I said it is to further my faith in God.

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